


Come on Back

by azilla93



Series: Two Weddings and a Funeral [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Eventual Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Human Benny Lafitte, Human Castiel, M/M, Minor Castiel/Dean Winchester, Normal Dean Winchester, Normal Sam Winchester, Rekindled love, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-17 23:36:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azilla93/pseuds/azilla93
Summary: Dean and Castiel were like... instant lovers. Were. Their relationship ended rather messily. Now they're living next door to each other. Is their relationship actually rekindling, or is just wishful thinking?





	1. I always feel like... somebody's watching me

Castiel was lurking. Why was it that Dean Winchester was always outside in his yard… or driveway… or SOMETHING when Castiel had somewhere to be? It was aggravating. And sure, who’s to say Dean wasn’t or was doing it on purpose? But it still ground his gears anyway. He sighed, letting the curtain close. He was going to be late for his meeting at this rate. 

He stopped for a moment to look at himself in the mirror in the hall. “You can do this.” He gave it a good college try, but he just didn’t have it in to be too hard on himself, after all, it was not entirely his fault that he felt… ANY kind of emotion to Dean. He straightened his already straight bow tie, and looked down at himself. He was hopeless… khaki slacks, a white dress shirt, and a purple bow tie (one that actually ties no less!), he’d recently been told he looked ‘really nerdy for someone so handsome’, whatever that meant.

See… this all started when they were younger. Castiel has known Dean all his life. They grew up next to each other, and his older brother Gabriel was practically inseparable with Dean. Dean was four years older than him, so when he went off to college with Gabriel, Castiel was still putzing around high school. They gave dating (among other things) a whirl when Castiel went off to college, and that’s pretty much when shit hit all the metaphorical fans.

“You are a college professor, Castiel Novak. And that is SIMPLY your neighbor. YOU CAN DO THIS!” What a macho pep talk that was. He peeked out the window one more time, and not seeing Dean, knew this was his chance to escape. He seized the opportunity to leave, swinging his messenger bag over his shoulder with a flourish. It didn’t bother him that Dean was back, after all, the house was owned by his family, he had every right to be there. He was more irritated that Gabriel didn’t forewarn him about the impending awkwardness.

He was half way down the walk when he heard his name, “Castiel???” _Well shit…._. He stopped and turned toward Dean’s house, giving a half hearted wave. “Dean, its a pleasure to see you again…” _Be cordial. Don’t let him know you actually want to vomit from joy_. See.. Castiel had never wanted to end things, but Dean had been so wishy washy, that anything less then a somewhat mutual separation was counter productive. 

“Yeah, I’ll say…” He said, moving to lean on the fence that separated their yards. “It’s nice to be back.. It was Gabriel’s idea to spot for a new store front here, finally, and I figured, the house is sitting empty now that Sam’s in California doing is lawyer thing, so why not?”

Castiel practically sizzled in annoyance. He remembered the day the younger Winchester moved out, but he never imagined the older one would return in his place. _So Gabriel DID know…_ “Oh.. I didn’t know…” He said softly, “I haven’t spoken to Gabriel in a few days..”

Dean shrugged, “He’s been dealing with a store opening up in Sioux Falls, and from what he’s told me, he’s got his hands tied.”

It figured Gabriel did know, now that Castiel thought about it. They were business partners.. There was no way that Gabriel didn’t know. He’d remember for the future to withhold as much pertinent information from him as possible as an extended form of revenge. 

He glanced down at his watch, practically mortified. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late for my office hours.” Dean’s eyes spoke to him, even when the male was completely silent, trying to reel him in. “It was nice seeing you Dean…” and with that, he followed the rest of the side walk down to his little older-than-dirt 1973 ford pinto, blue. Just as he was reaching for the handle, Dean called out to him one last time, “I’d like to catch up… my numbers the same.”

“Oh.. okay..” he replied, leaving the exchange in the air between them as he slid into the driver’s seat. He set his messenger bag across from him in the passenger seat from him, work usually rode shotgun. 

Once he was settled, it was simply as easy as pulling away from the curb. He could see Dean standing in the yard, watching him drive away. He looked so good, all business now. A steel grey sweater, and the nicest pair of jeans Castiel has ever seen in his life.. WERE THOSE LOAFERS? Who was this guy? Even the little bit of stubble on Dean’s cheeks were starting to salt and pepper and looked much more ‘dapper gentleman’ than ‘homeless bum’. 

_Let’s see.._ He was deep in thought, _he’s only 29…._. NOPE. He cut that thought off right there. It did NOT at all matter at all, in any way, that Dean was back looking so handsome, and well put together. Looks meant nothing in way of mental stability. He was so engrossed in his inner monologue that he didn’t realize he had successfully driven to campus AND parked, all the while talking himself off a ledge. Impressive. 

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Dean was absolutely not just leering around, trying to corner Castiel in his own yard. Okay so he was. But he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t feel like shooting him a text was appropriate. _Oh yeah, I’m waltzing back into your life, and I still think about you naked periodically.._ totally not weird right?

He didn’t know how many people it was obvious to that Castiel was on his mind still. Gabriel knew, but that was completely different. Gabriel was low-key/high-key trying to push them back into each others arms. But Dean just wasn’t suave anymore. 

Sure back in the day, he was a smooth-talker, but after the fiasco with Castiel 4 years ago, he poured himself into dress clothes, and set to work building a small monopoly of chain restaurants. Dean had a knack for business, and as it were, Gabriel was probably the best chef he’s even known.

They’d been on the road forever, when it was actually Dean that got tired and wanted to take a break, they decided to head for home together, take a week to recuperate and back to business. It wasn’t like they were single handedly managing every single store so why were they acting like it? They’ve been busting their asses since they graduated, and were doing fairly decent, they deserved a break, albeit a small one.

After he watched Castiel pull away, he pulled out his phone, seeing that he had several panicked texts from Gabriel, and several voicemails all ranging in desperation. He chuckled, moving around the perimeter of the yard. 

“Gabe..-“ There was instant chaos, and Dean let Gabriel flail for a moment, before trying to interject. “Listen… —— GABRIEL… I can’t help you, if you keep talking over me…”

“Alright.. so…?”

Dean took a deep breathe, kicking some of the bigger rocks that lined the fence between the yards. “What I can do, is make a few phone calls, and see if the paperwork is somewhere with the distributors. I MADE those calls myself, our orders were placed, I guarantee it.” Dean always made the first orders at all the stores, to insure that not only did the store have everything it needed to be at the feet of success off the bat, it also gave the future managers a template of what certain distributors expected ordered to look like. It was hard to get a foul if you had the playbook.

Store openings were the hardest, and Dean was hesitant when Gabriel told to him he was ‘gonna be okay, pal’. Because, from the sounds of it, Gabriel actually did need him, “I’ll make a couple phone calls here, and see what I can do. But its a 6 hour drive.. I can come out, but i wont make it in until late…”

“Okay.. and I’ll just.. keep doing what I’m doing then…”

Dean chuckled, “Yeah, sounds like a plan.. let me know as soon as anything changes…”

Poor Gabriel.. It wasn’t as though Dean didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, because it was going to be hard opening the store tomorrow when none of the food stuffs they’d ordered had arrived, and the person Gabriel had contacted tried to feed them some line about ‘no order on file’. 

He trudged back inside, kicking off his shoes at the door, and pulling his sweater over his head to reveal the t-shirt underneath, as he sat at the desk in front of the large windows of the living room. Dean had been in the house several days before he tried to make first contact with Castiel. AND THIS WAS NOT A PLOY TO WATCH OUT FOR HIM. That debate was more for him than anyone else. He liked to people watch, and while they didn’t live on a particularly busy street, the slight hustle and bustle was enough to soothe him in times like this.


	2. It's Just Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pay no attention to the chapter lengths.. there's no rhyme or reason to their length... I have this all pre-written and im hacking parts off where they make sense in the story.

Castiel returned home around five, which was only slightly earlier than usual, but after some especially boring office hours with students who, if only paid attention in class, would not need help now. It baffled Castiel how many students did poorly in English. Speaking, reading, and writing were the backbone of the American education system, for goodness sake. While skipping out early wasn’t normally something he did, today, he just felt like he earned it.

He grabbed his bag from the passenger seat, and uncurled himself onto the sidewalk, shutting the door gently behind him. Making sure the car was absolutely locked, he turned to walk up the pathway, only briefly seeing Dean talking animatedly on the phone in the window. His brow was furrowed, a deep crease on his forehead, eyes fixed in concentration. Some unforeseen force pulled Castiel to give him a small wave, expressing some kind of sympathy for whatever was causing such anguish. 

Dean saw him, and returned the wave, a small look of relief washed over him, and Castiel smiled. _Castiel Novak, you are not his friend_. Castiel had given himself this speech so many times in the event Dean ever came back. He needed to have these boundaries, rules he’d like to think. He refused to let Dean get him again, only to smash it all to pieces.

They didn’t hold each others attention very long, Dean immediately drawn back into giving the person on the receiver a verbal lashing. That meant he was free to move up the pathway and into his house with ease. It was just getting dark enough that he turned on the floor lamp in the living room as he passed, dumping his things into the arm chair next to it. While Castiel liked to consider himself a creature of habit, there was nothing ordinary about this day so far. 

Usually it was ‘grade something. dinner. shower. bed’, but he realized he was starving. So after abandoning his messenger bag, he moved into the kitchen to look for something edible. A whole lot of zilch. “Fantastic…” So maybe no dinner. Castiel had the feeling of restlessness that came with the knowledge that spring break was approaching, need only he ‘hang in there’. But hanging in there seemed more difficult when eating food meant leaving the house again. He gave an audible groan and sighed. He could always order something he supposed. He was giving himself a headache now, deciding to simply drink enough wine to THINK he’d eaten dinner, and then go from there. 

He was half way through the bottle when his doorbell rang. He jumped a little, nearly spilling his glass (he might’ve nodded off, but who can really know for sure). It was practically 7:00 by now, and he still hadn’t eaten, though the attempts at drinking himself full were working out quite well. 

“Just a minute!”

He stumbled to the door, all the wine hitting him much harder now that he was standing. Castiel made it a point to look in mirror. He didn’t look like too much of a lush, however, he could also be better. And when he opened the door, to reveal Dean, even more handsome in the light of his porch than the light of day, Castiel wished he would’ve just melted straight into the floor.

“Dean. Is there something I can do for you?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, “listen.. Gabe and I are dealing with some shit right now, and I was gonna go grab food at the diner? You want to come?”

_ABSOLUTELY NO._ “Well.. I was just gonna get started on grading some papers… so…”

“Bring em with you..” Dean shrugged, “Honestly, I’m probably going to have to make a couple phone calls, so I won’t be much in the way of conversation…” 

Castiel contemplated his options. He tried to solve his problem with alcohol, but now he was hungry AND tipsy. And here was Dean, looking all 50 shades of grey, and… and Castiel was absolutely disgusted with himself, “Let me grab my coat.”

He made sure Dean stood on the stoop like the uninvited house guest he was. Castiel scurried as much as his buzz would allow, grabbing his messenger bag (though he didn’t know if he was in any state to grade papers), and his trench coat, which he shrugged into and tied. When Castiel returned to the door, Dean was back on the phone, and had wandered down the front steps a little. He acknowledged Castiel, and motioned for him to follow. 

“Listen…” muffled fast talking was all Castiel could hear of whoever he was talking to as he slid in the Impala opposite of Dean. It’d been a long time since he’d been in this car, and while he was still sour at Dean for past unpleasantries, the car still had a soft place in his heart. He was glad Dean was focused on driving and his phone call rather than try to make small talk, it gave Castiel a chance to sober up a little bit.

“Gabriel, all I can say is, for now, I’ll call the two nearest shops to see what inventory they have for now. I found the invoice for the orders, so the order WILL be delivered tomorrow.. probably sometime in the afternoon. I’m leaving town shortly, I’m gonna grab a bite and pack a bag.” There was more muffled panic. This sounded kind of serious for a restaurant opening. “Yeah Yeah, I know… 6 hours.. it’ll put me at you at like 6 AM by the time I leave. That’ll be plenty of time to sort this all out and I think we should sit down and consider looking for a new food distributor… Yeah I know you like the quality of their ingredients, I get it, I do. I simply mean we need to have a contingency plan for the future. I want this mishap to be a one time occurrence… Exactly.. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Castiel jumped when Dean made a small growling noise. “Agitation doesn’t suit you…” Castiel said softly, looking at him for the first time since he got in the car. “It makes you look old..” Dean cocked an eyebrow at him, giving him the oddest look, though his face did soften, “Uh.. better?” Castiel simply smiled in return

They didn’t exchange words again until after they had arrived at the diner. This was Dean’s favorite place to go, and when they were younger, if you couldn’t find Gabriel or Dean, then you didn’t look here. Castiel liked to imagine that this was where the brainstorming for their business plan happened, but he knew it was a little more slap dash than that.

When they sat down, he did notice that Dean looked very worn out, significantly more so than this morning, and he kept glancing at his phone like it was going to switch loyalty and make a grab for his throat. 

“So.. you’re leaving?”

Dean looked up from the table and nodded, “Just for a day hopefully…”

“That seems like a far drive for only day, are you sure you can drive that far?” he asked, noting the exhaustion on his face

Dean chuckled and smiled a little, though it was more out of knowing dread of the day to come than anything, “I don’t have a choice. Gabriel needs me, and so I go.”

“Gabriel can’t handle it?”

He knew that Dean dealt more with the business side of things, but certainly Gabriel was just as competent? Then again, Dean liked to control things.. make everything about him. It was probably something very minor that Dean had blown out of proportion. 

“It’s not a matter of what I think Gabriel can or can’t handle. I’m sure he could absolutely handle it. But he called me asking for help. If he suffers in this, I suffer. We’re business partners, man, you know how it is…”

All of a sudden, Castiel felt very small. He was making all these baseless opinions about this present Dean because of who he knew Dean had been. But hearing how tired he was, knowing that he was driving 6 hours simply because Gabriel asked him to, that was not the Dean he knew. 

“Right of course..”

The conversation was halted by the waitress, she was cute, all smiles even though she was probably exhausted. Dean ordered his coffee black, and eggs. Castiel took note of the unusual choice in food, and got himself a burger and a water, he was finally sober enough to feel his stomach trying to eat its way out.

Castiel opened his messenger bag and pulled out a small stack of papers and a pen, he wasn’t kidding that he needed to grade some things. He could feel Dean’s eyes on him, watching him intently. It was a bizarre feeling, actually, everything about being here with Dean felt different. Dean seemed calmer, more focused… qualities he admired in Gabriel have seemed to rub off on his friend, and it was noticeable. 

“So Cas…”

“It’s Castiel..”

“Right.. Castiel.. What are you teaching this semester?”

“I’m teaching a class called “The British Novel”, among other things, but this is the one I find most enjoyable.”

Dean was looking at him, like he was looking at every single memory that they’d made together, projected straight onto Castiel. It was a look of hopefulness and comfort. With Sam being away and the fall out that separated him and Castiel, Gabriel was his only companion, which was probably why Dean asked Castiel out in the first place, simply companionship. Dean had only been in town one day, and done NOTHING to insinuate that he was anything like the man that left, but Castiel was still treating him the same. He’d been expected him to be the “SAME OLD SAME”, and here _he was_ , doing just that.

“I was never big on reading… but you know that..” He chuckled, only pausing to look up at the waitress who was bringing them their food. “Thank you so much…” he said softly, giving her a gentle smile. Castiel was making mental notes of all the things that were different about Dean, like he was making some kind of Venn Diagram for future reference. 

When his phone rang again, he looked at it and rolled his eyes. “Ms. Talbot, to what do I owe the pleasure?….. mmmhm… I see.. Yes… Yes of course…. Yes, thank you very much..” It was a quick call, but it was painfully obvious that Dean did not like her, whoever ‘her’ was.

He set the phone and slid it to Castiel, “If it’s not Gabriel, I don’t care…” Castiel went wide eyed for a moment, and then smiled, “Aye aye..” He tucked the phone into his bag, “Don’t forget to get it back before you hit the road..”

“What time is it?”

“It’s about 8:30.” Castiel said, glancing at his watch.

Dean groaned, taking another sip of his coffee, “Alright.. I guess that means I should get you home, I need to pack… and probably shave real quick.” He felt his cheek, “Yeah.. definitely shave..”

After the waitress came back, and Dean paid, though Castiel tried and failed to split the check, however he did leave a tip. 

“Thanks for coming with me..” Dean said, looking over as they walked to the car. “Im sure you have a lot better things to do than watch me get an attitude on the phone..

“I find that you probably gave the right amount of attitude, circumstances pending.”

Dean laughed at that. Like a real deal Dean Winchester laugh, and Castiel beamed. The rest of the walk to the car was silent. 

Once they were in the car, heading back toward their neighborhood, Castiel spoke again. “How’s Gabriel doing??” He glanced over to Dean, watching his face in the passing street lights.

“When was the last time you talked to him?”

“I don’t.. I don’t remember, he doesn’t always answer me… or call me back..” The honesty stung a little, but it was what it was.

“Ah well.. he’s alright, at least holding it together enough, we’re both a little all over the place right now, so you’ve tried to call him recently, that could be why. But we’re planning on taking the next week or so off before we get into the new ground breaking, I’m sure he’ll be more than available then.”

Castiel nodded, looking out the window as the lights of the neighborhood came into view, “When was the last time you talked to Sam?”

Dean stiffened, “I honestly couldn’t tell you, Cas… Castiel..” 

He pulled the car up along side the curb and sighed, killing the ignition. This was going to be a long haul. They got out and separated at the side walk. Dean was going over a list of things he needed to do and pack, and Castiel was slow to move up his path to the porch.

“Dean!”

He called, getting his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Let me know when you get there?”

“Yeah sure, no problem. Thanks man…” 

Castiel watched Dean ran his fingers through his hair, and flowed effortlessly up the steps. He walked up his own pathway too, his phone pinging before he even got in the door.

**DEAN:** Want to come?

_NO, don’t you dare_. His subconscious was paying attention now. _Don’t you even think about it_. He was right. He’d already indulged Dean enough, and that had to stop. It’d only been a day, and Castiel was over here grinning like an idiot because ~Dean Winchester~ was paying attention to him.

**CASTIEL** : I would love to, unfortunately, I have a lot things to do tomorrow since I do not have to be on campus.

With that, Castiel slipped out of his coat, hanging it back on the hook. He needed to be more careful. Of course he absolutely wanted to go on long drive with Dean. Not only that, he’d get the chance to see Gabriel, but he just couldn’t not yet. One calm evening with Dean at a dinner did not prove anything about the person Dean had become.

A half an hour late, he heard the tires of the Impala squeal, and he sighed, briefly looking up from his book, as though he could somehow watch Dean pull away. He felt a small ping of regret, not having gone with him


	3. I don't Read

_”Hey Cas.. Whatcha readin’?”_

_Dean plopped down next to Castiel on the couch, looking over his shoulder at the book. He always claimed to hate reading, Castiel noticed, but that never stopped him from leering over his shoulder and adding commentary._

_”I don’t think Gabriel is home.” He replied, closing his book, seething from the interruption._

_”I know.. I came to see what you were up to..”_

_Castiel looked at him, an eyebrow raised, instantly suspicious of his intentions, “Me? You must not be feeling well…”_

_Dean just laughed and took the book from Castiel’s hand, opening it up to where Castiel left off. He pulled him over to lean on his shoulder, and started to read aloud to him. This was the first time Castiel had ever felt anything for Dean beyond being his brother’s best friend._

* * *

Castiel woke up in a panic. That dream was so vivid it was almost like he was living that memory over again. He took a minute to get his bearings, and then he rolled over. It was only 4:30, what a poor time to be wide awake. But he gave in, sitting up, and giving a small stretch. He could always take a nap later.

Rubbing his eyes, he made a grab for his phone, which was blinking with messages.

**GABRIEL:** WHY DIDN’T YOU COME WITH HIM?!

Castiel rolled his eyes, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

**DEAN:** I told you I’d text you when I made it. No worries. I’ll see you in a couple days.

**CASTIEL:** Thank you. Don’t let Gabriel work you too hard.

A couple days? He said only one… that can’t be good. But since when did Castiel care? Because he so totally didn’t. He sighed really hard, breathing his frustration with himself and the situation into existence. Once he knew that the universe knew of his displeasure, he decided to actually do something useful with the early time of day and go for a run. Who even knew if running made someone feel better forreal?

* * *

When Dean’s phone pinged, he was already awake. If he were being honest, he hadn’t been to bed yet. He was sitting at a booth, surrounded by pristine everything. Since the store hadn’t opened yet, everything was new and fresh and untouched, save for the table Dean was sitting at, papers spread out around him.  
He reached for his phone and smiled at the text alert, though seeing the time of day made him nauseous. This was all Dean wanted, friendship, at least for now, a chance to show Castiel that he was different, better. Who knew if it was working though… He doubted it, Castiel wasn’t that stupid. BUT he was clearly making some headway because Castiel hadn’t told him to hit the bricks yet.

It was 3 more hours of looking through paperwork, and answering emails, and Gabriel finally joined him at the table with a black coffee as a peace offering.

“Have you been up all night?”

“Not accounting for the times I’ve dozed off, yes.”

Gabriel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “I never meant for you wear yourself out. I just needed some insight.. I appreciate you driving out here though..”

It was unusual for him to see Gabriel stressed, so Dean grabbed his coffee in one hand, and grabbed Gabriel’s with the other, “Listen, it’s not a big deal, we’ll figure this out. and then we’ll kick it, and then we’ll start on our next great adventure.”

Gabriel didn’t pull his hand away when Dean took it, just letting him say his spiel, and then he smiled. “Alright, alright…” 

Dean slowly drank his coffee, sorting out the pages from the store’s file. They did a debriefing before every store opening: who they hired, procedures, and organization for the future. They did it every time, and since Dean was here now, this was no exception. It helped to make sure they were on the same page before staff started showing up for the “day before talk”.

It was 8:00 when the tractor trailer full of the food they’d ordered pulled up, following by a suspiciously nice car. 

“oh yeah.. I forgot to tell you…” Dean said, rising to his feet, coffee in hand, “Bela is coming..”

Gabriel nearly fell out of his seat, “Dean.. that’s a little bit of short notice there buddy…”

Neither one of them were quite fond of Bela. She worked for the food distributor as their liaison and she was brown-eyed British firecracker, with never a strand of her honey brown hair out of place. She never put up with the guys nonsense, and that was part of the reason why they didn’t like her, than and she was without a doubt the most condescending person that Dean had ever met in his life.

Dean and Gabriel stood side by side as they watched Bela walk toward the doors. It was stressful, because she was surely going to have something sarcastic to say, the pair of them standing there looking dumbfounded. 

When she got to the door, they immediately put on their game faces, big obnoxious smiles, the best they could muster.

“Hello boys.” She took off her sunglasses, stealing glances at both of them, looking them straight in the eyes. 

“Bela, how nice of you to join us..” He extended his hand to her, but she didn’t shake it. 

“I’m not here for pleasure, we need to talk business…”  
Dean tried very hard not to roll his eyes, but he wasn’t sure if he was successful. “business how?”

“We need to make sure that in the future, you avoid mishaps like this.”

His eyes narrowed, “This had nothing to do with us, I have the confirmed, paid for invoice… Listen, your success is dependent on our success, yes? So I would make sure that in the future, you avoid mishaps like this.” Dean was kind of standing a little straighter now, finding his confidence where Bela usually sucked it out of him.

They were looking eye to eye, but Dean refused to back down, if Bela sucked out his soul from the eye contact then so be it. Eventually she wavered, and crossed her arms, “You’re walking a very thin line Mr. Winchester.” 

“So be it then.” He replied, not breaking his stare (which if you asked Gabriel, was quite frightening).

Bela went to speak, but stopped, looking between them both, “We’ll be in touch.”

Dean rolled his eyes once she was on her way out, “She says that like I’m not constantly on the phone with her… like I didn’t just call her yesterday.”

Gabriel was still looking at him, bewildered, like he’d just poked a sleeping bear. “How do you just TALK to her like that? And she let you…” Dean chuckled, “Listen man, I refuse to be bossed around in my own building by her snobby ass..” Gabriel laughed in response, “You’re either brave or stupid…”

* * *

It was late in the evening. Castiel was sitting on the porch, reading, when the Impala finally pulled back up on their street. He watched over the top of his book as Dean got out, pulling his travel bag along with him. When he was caught staring, he lowered his book to acknowledge him, “You’re looking rather haggard.”

“You sure know how to make a guy feel special..” He quipped, moving up Castiel’s path instead of his own. “Do I really look that bad?”

“Unfortunately… Did you get no sleep on this adventure?”

“It was hardly an adventure… which probably explains why I got hardly any sleep..”

Dean looked like hot death, and he felt like it too. He probably would’ve fallen asleep standing up, had Castiel not been talking to him. 

Castiel was silent a moment, weighing his options. This new Dean was calm, considerate, hardworking, it might not be such a terrible thing to be friends with him again, JUST friends. “Why don’t you come in, take a nap, and I’ll make dinner?” 

Dean relaxed, like all the weight had been taken from his shoulders, “If you’re sure..?” Castiel merely nodded, waving Dean to follow him. He set down his bag right inside the door, and kicked off his shoes. “I appreciate this.. I don’t think I stopped moving since I left..”

“Well, curl up on the couch, and I’ll make dinner, I’ll wake you up when it’s almost done…” 

Dean wanted nothing more than to hug him, but he didn’t know for sure where their boundaries were yet, so he merely beamed, offering up a wonderfully large grin. “That sounds amazing.”

* * *

_”What do you want me to say Cas?” Dean’s voice was sharp, eyes narrow._

_”I WANT you to be supportive.”_

_”Yeeeaahhhh, because I’d be totally supportive of yet ANOTHER person leaving me…”_

_Dean couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around this. He’d finally let someone in, and now he wanted to leave, travel to the other side of the country, knowing that Dean couldn’t follow._

_”You know what… If you can’t be happy for me, with me, then you can be miserable, without me…”_

_”Fine..”_

* * *

Castiel was just about wake Dean up, when he heard him whimpering. He tipped his head to the side, listening very hard. Dean was mumbling, but not enough for Castiel to understand the words. His face looked unnatural with all the lines of worry. Whatever dream Dean was having, it wasn’t a pleasant one. 

He sat on the edge of the couch and gave him a gentle shake. “Dean…” he said softly, shaking him again. Dean sat up with a start, grabbing Castiel’s wrist. They stared at each other, shocked, before Dean let go, “Sorry… you startled me…” Castiel nodded, but didn’t move to get up, “You were having a bad dream..”

“Yeah, it happens a lot…”

Castiel smiled softly, taking in the sad look on Dean’s face. “Well.. Dinner is ready..” He patted his leg before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Dean took a moment to collect himself, pushing the memory or dream or whatever it was to the back of his mind. Then he followed the smell to the kitchen too. 

“I really appreciate this… I know your not like… my biggest fan..” He rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden. 

“Dean…” Castiel started, moving around the kitchen, plating up what appeared to be chicken and rice and something green. “I don’t hate you, you know. I know we have a lot of history, but I’d like to thing we could try to be friends again. After all, you were gone for 4 years, we’re not the same people we were then.”

He handed Dean a plate and nodded toward the dining room table. Dean went to sit down, Castiel sitting across from him. 

“I’m glad you feel that way.. I didn’t really.. know how to approach the subject. Mostly because I didn’t know how you still felt.” 

He took a bite, and sighed a little. It’d been a lot longer than he’d been in Sioux Falls that he had real food. He almost forgot what it tasted like. “I just don’t want to miss out on having you as a friend because I screwed up before..”

Castiel took in every word Dean had said. He could tell he really meant it; Dean really wanted to be friends with him, genuinely. Castiel simply smiled, leaving them to eat in silence.

Now that Dean was quite refreshed, they began to catch up on old times. Dean told Castiel about all the cities they’d been to, all the locations they had. He told him how happy he was, how he made the right choice working with Gabriel. And in exchange for that information, Castiel told him how happy he was teaching, that he read now more than ever, and he’d found an author he thought Dean would like.

“You know I don’t read…” Dean chuckled. It was totally a lie, he really did love to read, but the three of them had had that joke for as long as he could remember. Once, Gabriel had found one of Castiel’s lost but not forgotten books in Deans room, right when they started dating, and….

_”A Separate Peace?” Gabriel had asked, picking up the book, raising an eyebrow._

_”What? It’s mine…” Dean said defensively. “I read.. how do you know it’s not?”_

_”Dean, you don’t read…” Gabriel had replied, arms crossed, instantly suspicious._

_Dean searched for a way to change the subject, but it proved difficult and opted to remain silent, pretending to not hear Gabriel._

Castiel chuckled, and stood, moving to the bookcase and coming back. “I really think you’ll like it..” It was a hard back, and Dean took it readily, looking over the cover, and reading the first page, instantly intrigued. “This is wonderful.” He replied, tracing over the name with his finger, _James Patterson_. 

After Dean had left, and Castiel had cleaned up a little, he took a moment to replay the events of the evening in his head. It was interesting, he never thought that Dean would be so readily available to him again. It was an awful lot to take in, mostly because it was a dangerous road to travel down.


	4. Drinks Among Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I'm having just as much fun writing this as I hope you are reading this. I'm like.... ridiculously proud of this? which is silly because up until now, no one has read it but me.

This was very much how things picked up over the next week. If Dean was sitting in his window when Castiel came home from the university, Castiel came over and curled up in his arm chair with a book while he worked. It also happened that Dean came over too. He would take whatever current book Castiel was reading, and read aloud to him while he cooked. They were becoming very close friends, and Dean was soaking up the attention he was getting from him. 

Their friendship never extended beyond each overs houses though. Even when one of them talked to Gabriel, it was never brought up. They didn’t want to make a big fuss about it.

Until, the day Dean took the next step. He showed up at the university, a coffee and a little white bag in hand. He knew Castiel taught English, so the English department was exactly where he went. The building was massive though, and the sweet old secretary on the first floor was a blessing. 

“I’m looking for the office of Professor Novak?” 

The woman looked up at him, eyes as big as dinner plates. “Do you have an appointment?”  
Dean smiled, “No, unfortunately.. I hope that’ll be okay…?”

The woman frowned, “Well.. Prof. Novak doesn’t normally accept unannounced visitors…..” Her voice trailed off, like she was really thinking about what to do.

“I’m sure he won’t mind, we’re old friends..”

“Oh.. well.. office 25B.. But he’s in class for another 15 minutes..”

“I’ll wait.. thank you so much…”

Dean made sure to lay the charming smile on thick as he went ahead to seek out Castiel’s office. After figuring out that the numbers on the rooms weren’t actually in any particular order, he finally found the one he was looking for. He tried for the handle, and lucky for him, it was unlocked.

He took this alone time to look around Castiel’s office. It was exactly what he expected. It was kind of boring, not really decorated. The bookshelf was full of strange books, curriculum, and that sort of nonsense. There were a few pictures of Castiel and Gabriel together in various locations, and surprisingly enough, there was a picture of him and Castiel, at the fair, where their relationship first started to really blossom. He’d won some stuffed animal for him. He picked up the picture and smiled, letting the memory fill him with warmth.

_Castiel had waited for the town fair all summer. It was his favorite part. He loved the lights, and noise, and mostly riding the ferris wheel all night. And most importantly, he loved the fact that Gabriel took this day to spend with Castiel before school started, the only day of summer that he got Gabriel completely to himself._

_He had saved up a little money to spend, and him and Gabriel were trying to win a big stuffed giraffe, but it wasn’t going so well. Gabriel was too busy focusing on the olive skinned girl watching them. He’d never seen her before, but as soon as Gabriel saw an opportunity to go with her, he left Castiel standing in the crowd alone._

_”So giraffes huh?” The voice appeared next to him so suddenly that it made Castiel jump. But he knew without looking that the voice belonged to none other than Dean Winchester._

_Dean had already paid the guy at the game, and was full of concentration. It only took him a total of $10 to win the thing, and he promptly surrendered it to Castiel. “There ya go. Your very own herbivore…”_

“That was some day, wasn’t it?” Dean jumped, almost dropping the picture in the process. He turned, a guilty grin on his face. 

“Yeah… It was a great day..” He moved over to the desk, “Sorry for surprising you at work, but I brought you a coffee and a bagel?” He motioned to the little bag and the styrofoam cup. 

Castiel beamed and snatched the bag up, “I haven’t eaten all day.. I don’t usually have time for lunch…” He took out the bagel and the cream cheese, looking at it like a hungry wolf, “So you know, you gave the secretary a heart attack.. I don’t usually have visitors outside of students.”

Dean nodded, “To be fair, I may have been a little pushy…” He chuckled, and moved to sit in a free chair as Castiel sat at his desk, appreciatively enjoying the bagel. 

“So to what do I owe this surprise visit?” Castiel asked, munching gentle on the bite he’d taken.

“Honestly, I was maybe really bored…? And I figured you were probably hungry.” It was a completely selfish visit actually. He’d simply wanted to see Castiel, and knew exactly where to find him. He gave him a “look-how-not-guilty-i-am” look, but Castiel just shook his head. Dean was so content to just sit there and watch him eat, taking small bites.

“Sooooo. When are you done with your last class?” Dean tilted his head, watching Castiel’s face, searching for some kind of tell tale hint of emotion. Castiel looked up from his cup of coffee and took a moment before speaking, “Uhm. well.. my last class ends at 5:30, why?”

“Gabriel’s coming into town tonight, and he wanted to grab some drinks to celebrate our new ground breaking. Want to come?”

Castiel took a long sip of his coffee, contemplating this all. It wasn’t like Dean was asking him out on a date, right? Gabriel was going to be there after all. And he absolutely, no way, no how, would not get drunk.

“Alright. That sounds fun.”

* * *

It was fun, in fact, a lot more fun than Castiel had anticipated. Going out for drinks didn’t actually consist of the kind of bars that Dean and Gabriel had frequented when they were younger, and three… or four… or whatever… drinks later, they were sitting at their table, sharing nachos and laughing up a storm talking about memories of their childhood.

“Remember that one time…..” Gabriel said in between laughing, “You pushed Castiel down, and he broke his arm, and and and you thought you killed him?”

“He didn’t cry!!” Dean replied, a big smirk on his face, “Who breaks their arm and doesn’t cry???”

“Our mom was so mad at you…” Castiel replied, chuckling along with them. 

It was nice to ease back into this friendliness between the three of them. These two people were Dean’s _people_. Besides Sam, these two people were his only family left. They knew everything about him, and he knew everything about them. Severing ties with Castiel had been difficult, but he was sure glad that he was getting the chance to go ‘round again.

“So tell me about this new store you’re building here.” Castiel started, looking between them.

“Well, we decided it was about time to put roots here..” Gabriel started, taking a swig of his beer in the process, “As we start to really expand, we thought it was vital to include our home on the map.”

“Not only that,” Dean picked up, “But we’re also talking about building our headquarters here… I mean, honestly, I love being involved in research and development, but I’m done traveling, I don’t have it in me anymore. We decided that it was time for our company to have a more formal HQ, get everything all in the same building. Give our stores a real phone number to call instead of just one of our cell phones..” He sighed, looking down at his, he despised it really, “We’re legitimizing.”

Castiel listened to them talk, and gave a contented sigh. The two of them were practically beaming with pride, and he couldn’t be happier. They really busted their butts getting everything in a row, and making their goals align, “When do you break ground?”

“Very shortly…” Dean replied, checking the date on his phone, “4 days actually.”

Gabriel nodded, “We’re really making waves here, brother, and you’re totally along for the ride..” Castiel squeaked when Gabriel pulled him into an embrace, but he returned it all the same.

When they left, Castiel poured himself into the passenger seat of the Impala, nestling into the bench seat. Dean just shrugged, “I can take him Gabe, and we’ll come back for his car tomorrow..” Gabriel nodded, it didn’t make sense for Gabriel to drive out of his way when Dean lived next door to Castiel. 

Castiel murmured all the way home, talking about the sky, and bees, and whatever book he was reading about. Dean couldn’t help but laugh; he couldn’t remember a single time he’d seen Castiel this drunk.

He took the drive as careful as he could, and when he pulled up in front of their houses, Castiel got out and followed Dean’s sidewalk. He was already at the door before Dean could stop him, “You know this is _my_ house, right?” Castiel gave an answer in the form of a non committal shrug, pushing the door open as soon as Dean unlocked it. 

Dean raised an eyebrow and followed him inside. “Come on, drunkey monkey…” He said, gently guiding him toward the stairs, “Time for bed…” Castiel was trying to be handsy, which made navigating them both up the steps extremely difficult. Dean felt like he was wrestling an octopus and breathed a breath of relief when he finally pushed Castiel onto his bed and off of him. 

“Go to sleep.. I’ll make eggs in the morning.”

But clearly Castiel had other ideas, he was latched onto Dean again, and he groaned. “Alright, lets do this instead…” He slowly removed Castiel’s shirt, folding it on the nightstand, and helped him remove his shoes and pants before tucking him under the burgundy comforter. He placed a tender kiss on his forehead and smiled, “You sleep.. I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

He went to the bathroom, trying to hold onto some of his routine at least. He washed his face, brushed his teeth, replacing his contacts for a pair of black horn rimmed glasses. Luckily, he had a pair of flannel pajama bottoms in the bathroom so he didn’t have to risk being snagged by Castiel again. Feeling satisfied, and suddenly exhausted, he took up his place on the couch.


	5. Feeling like a Disney movie

It was 10AM when Castiel opened his eyes, and quickly closed them. The room was so bright, and he had a bit of a headache. He didn’t even feel like he’d drank that much, but the cotton mouth he couldn’t get rid of begged to differ. He stretched, snuggling deeper into the black pillow case…. black? his pillow cases weren’t black, they were yellow.

He sat straight up, which made his head spin, but not quite as much as seeing the inside of this bedroom. While the furniture was much nicer, he easily recognized it as being Dean’s bedroom from their youth. He was in the Winchester house? He still swore he wasn’t that drunk last night. Was he in his underwear? Had him and Dean…? No, certainly he’d remember. 

Castiel ran his fingers through his hair, though it did nothing to calm the bed head. “Think Castiel… think…” But it wasn’t coming to him. He grabbed his jeans, and slid them on with ease. Grabbing his shirt, he moved to head down the stairs, now fully clothed, the smell of eggs and bacon hitting him half way down. 

“Dean…?”

“In the kitchen!” 

And so he was. There was Dean, still in his flannel pajamas, no shirt… “Glasses??” That _should_ have been in his head, but apparently not.

“Oh yeah, I need them to see now..” Dean cast a glance over his shoulder, but not for long, turning most of his attention back to the stove, “Have a seat, I’m almost done here..” He grabbed two dishes, and plated up the eggs and bacon, joining Castiel at the table. 

“So how’d you sleep?”

Castiel was still in shock, looking at Dean, who looked absolutely adorable in those glasses, and then looking down at the plate. It seemed like an eternity before Castiel acknowledged Dean even spoke to him, “huh…?”

“I said, how did you sleep?”

“I would assume very well…” Castiel replied, picking up his fork and pushing around the eggs like they might attack him. 

Dean was innocently munching, not realizing that his friend was having an existential crisis across the table. That is, until he realized Castiel wasn’t eating his breakfast. “Is there something wrong….?”

“We didn’t… _do_ anything last night did we?”

“Of course not..” Dean replied, looking rather offended, “I poured you into my bed, and crashed on the couch… I was going to take you and toss you into your bed, but you went up my walk ahead of me, and I figured there was no use in trying to argue with you.”

Castiel nodded, “Right.. of course…” he started eating, but he could still feel Dean’s gaze on him. It took a minute before Dean stood, “Do you want coffee?” he asked, trying too hard to seem nonchalant. “Uhm yes, if you don’t mind…”

Dean disappeared back into the kitchen, fussing with the coffee pot, and mugs and whatever else he could fuss with while the coffee pot dripped. He was trying so hard to focus on whatever meaningless task he could, he didn’t realize that Castiel was standing in the doorway. When he finally did, he jumped, almost spilling two cups of coffee all over himself. He silently held out Castiel’s.

“You remember how I like my coffee?” Castiel asked softly, taking the mug in his hands, letting the warmth fill him.

“Of course, two sugars, and more cream and coffee…” Dean replied, taking a sip of his own black coffee, “How could I forget? You practically lived on coffee while you were an undergrad…”

_Castiel was always so hard to rouse in the morning, but that didn’t stop Dean from trying. “Come on, you have to go to class…” He gave him a gentle shove, but Castiel just made some kind of noise that Dean couldn’t make heads or tails of. “Cas… come on, babe, it’s time to get up….”_

_But Castiel only made that noise again. Dean huffed, thinking. Thats when the Ah-Ha! moment hit. He left Castiel, snoozing in bed, and was only gone for 10 minutes before he returned with a fresh warm cup of coffee. As soon as the smell filled the room, Castiel perked up, taking the mug away from Dean. He moaned a little, letting the rich caffeine fill him_

_”Thank you so much….” Castiel said, staring down in one of the most perfect cups of coffee known to man…… or he was just that tired._

“I know… God, those four years seem forever ago don’t they..”

Dean chuckled, “Time flies when you’re having fun… apparently.”

Castiel doesn’t respond to that, simply taking in the sentiment. They’d had a lot of fun together. The four years he was an undergrad were probably more fun than Castiel had in his entire life, if he were being honest. That all changed when he decided to go away to get his masters and pursue a doctorate; looking back, he couldn’t remember a single time since their falling out that he’d had any amount of fun close to what he and Dean had shared.

As the silence moved from calming to awkward, Castiel cleared his throat. “I really appreciate you taking care of me last night, and for the breakfast, but I should probably get going…” Dean tilted his head to the side, but nodded in understand, “Yeah sure, no problem.” He didn’t move as Castiel set his mug in the sink, and then disappeared from beyond his front door. 

“Please don’t leave….” Dean said to the vast emptiness both in the kitchen, and in his heart. He’d tried so hard to just keep those feelings pushed down. He’d just gotten Castiel back as a friend, but he didn’t want to scare him off, not when Castiel was beginning to trust him again.

* * *

When Castiel entered his own home, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Gabriel was sitting on the couch, looking very much at home. “Gabriel… this isn’t your house anymore.. you can’t just come in here and…”

Gabriel stopped him, “If you were _here_ , you’ve been able to let me in..” he chuckled, looking at the horror on Castiel’s face. “Soooo. Spend the night with Dean-o huh?” Instant blush, “No, it wasn’t like that Gabriel…” “Look, you don’t need to explain anything to me Cassie. I’m just here to snooze, maybe crash a couple days while I look for a place. What you want to do recreationally? Well… just try to keep it down…” 

Castiel was so agitated that he couldn’t even formulate a response. Whatever impression he just gave Gabriel was the wrong one, but there was no correcting it. He hoped though, that he didn’t give Dean the wrong impression either; after all, nothing actually did happen last night. 

“I need a shower…. Gabriel, I’ll be upstairs if you need anything!” He called, but got no answer in return. He moved like a sloth, replaying pieces of last night he could recall. The more he thought about it, the more pieces he was able to fit together. Dean had actually taken very good care of him, like…. like a brother.

Though, as he slowly undressed, taking off the stale smell of the bar, he really thought about everything in general. He did _miss_ Dean, he missed the good times they’d had, and while they split up rather suddenly, and bitterly, they had more good times than bad. But he was concerned that Dean was no longer interested. They’d said some terrible things to each other… things that you couldn’t take back. 

The warm water felt good, but he knew it couldn’t wash away the apprehensions he now had regarding him and Dean. He sighed, accidentally inhaling some water. After giving a half hearted cough, he turned the water off, standing there to drip. It was no use trying to drown himself in the shower, he needed to just…. talk to Gabriel, and see what his options were. If anyone knew Dean the best, it was Gabriel. 

Pulling on a pair of navy sweatpants, he made his way back downstairs. “Gabriel.. we need to talk..” he said it a little louder, because his brother was sometimes aloof, and he didn’t want startle him, because that would turn into a prank war.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

That voice came from the kitchen. “Seriously, I need to talk to you…”

Castiel took up a seat on a stool at the breakfast bar, watching Gabriel make dinner. He briefly turned, looking at him, “What’s on your mind bright eyes?”

Gabriel had this soothing way of talking to him like… they were in an episode of golden girls, which was very relaxing. He’d been like that even in childhood, Castiel recalled, just being a confidant. 

“So Dean…” Castiel started, “Do you think it would be completely presumptuous of me to think I still have a chance?”

Gabriel coughed, nearly dropping the pan of sauce on the floor, “Castiel… are you sure? I mean.. your track record together isn’t exactly stellar.”

Castiel sighed, leaning on the counter with his elbow, his head in his hand, “I know.. but.. I don’t know… We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently, and I feel like… I’ve noticed something that wasn’t there before…”

“Alright Belle….” Gabriel replied, “that was… like… literally a line from a Disney movie..” He replied, plating up what appeared to be some kind of chicken and pasta. “I think… maybe you should just do whatever you think you need to do. and if shit goes south, I’ll break his legs or something.”

Castiel smiled in reply, looking down at plate of food Gabriel set in front of him. “Do you know if.. he still has anything feelings for me?”

Gabriel gave him a non-committal shrug, “I mean.. I can’t give away things he’s told me in confidence, but I wouldn’t tell you to go for it, if I didn’t think you had at least a chance….”

They ate in silence after that. Castiel had a lot of thinking to do. He didn’t want to jump the gun, but after weeks of constantly seeing each other, Dean had to feel that old spark. Didn’t he, or was Castiel just wishing for a taste of the past…


	6. Like A For Real Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don't follow "Lessons in Standing", lemme just apologize here too.
> 
> Im a teacher and we started administering the state standardized tests, and im beat when I come home.  
> I swear they make giving the test just as hard as taking it. 
> 
> Enjoy the long chapter!

When Castiel came back from the university the next day, he saw Dean sitting at his desk in the window, and walked up the path like always. It sounded like he was on the phone, so he was quiet when he set his bag down and kicked his shoes off in the hall. He grabbed his book from the end table, and curled up in the chair. 

“Bela, I’ve gotta go…… No…… That’s none of your business….” He scoffed, rolling his eyes harder than he thought possible, “No Bela…. Yeah.. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He put his phone on the desk, flipping it over so the screen side was down. He turned around and smiled, “sorry.. our distributor is a… well. she’s an odd one… How was work?”

Castiel put the book down, a look of confusion on his face, which eventually melted into a smile, “It was okay, normal stuff.. lectures, emails, skipping lunch.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “Skipping lunch? Do you do that a lot?”

The other man flushed, “I don’t TRY to, however, things don’t usually go my way at work.” He really tried to make that lie sound convincing, but he knew Dean wasn’t buying it.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute…” He replied, moving to stand, “that, and it’s your lucky day…” He moved past Castiel, nudging him to follow him into the kitchen.

Castiel could feel the heat rise in his cheeks when Dean called him cute. He could only imagine why today was his lucky day. But it all started to make sense when he saw Dean taking things out of the fridge to make burgers. His mouth instantly watering. Dean’s burgers were amazing, it was one of the few things he could cook and cook well. “It IS my lucky day,” he replied, leaning against the counter.

“Well, I figure, I was making these anyway, and if we’re being honest, I’d rather you not die of hunger in my living room… it’s purely selfish that I’m feeding you..”

He handed Castiel a cutting board and an onion, and motioned to the knife block. Castiel took them both without hesitation and started chopping. He’d helped Dean make burgers a couple times, but it was mostly tedious stuff like this, the bulk of how he made them so good was still a mystery.

They moved around each other seamlessly. It was easy to navigate around someone you used to live with. Once the burgers were finished, they ate standing in the kitchen, food too good to even move to the table. Castiel was eating like he’d never had food before, and it dawned on him that he hadn’t eaten breakfast either, so he was extremely hungry. Dean watched him in awe, wondering how someone could inhale food that fast. 

“As flattered as I am that you like my food, I do not, in fact, know the Heimlich….” 

Castiel stopped, mid bite and looked over at him. It was almost like he forgot Dean was standing next to him. He shrugged and went back to eating. He swallowed the bite in his mouth, and looked back, “At least I’ll die happy…” Dean laughed, “Wow Castiel, I’m touched….”

Dean was still trying to be mindful in calling him ‘Castiel’. He could understand why he didn’t want Dean to call him by the little pet name he’d given him during their relationship. They finished up their glorious meal, and they took their positions at the sink. Dean washed, and Castiel dried.

Dean tried to drag out doing the dishes, deep thought. He very much enjoyed spending his time with Castiel; they were together almost every day, at some point. He wondered if Castiel was having these same thoughts, wondering the same things. It was when Castiel cleared his throat did he realize that he was just standing there, hands in the water, not doing anything, “Sorry… I got distracted….” He washed up the last couple things, handing them off to Castiel, and then got to drying his hands.

“Dean.” Castiel took a sharp breath, “Would you like to go on a date…?”

_Dean caught Castiel sitting on the porch, pouring over some high school textbook that Dean was glad he didn’t have to suffer through anymore. “Hey, Cas…”_

_Castiel tried not to jump. How did Dean sneak up on him? Usually it was the other way around. “Oh. Hello, Dean. I didn’t know you were coming over.”_

_”Well… I’m not really here for Gabe…” He was so nervous. He thought about just turning around, hopping over the fence that separated their yards, and never looking back… changing schools… zip codes.. his name.. “I’m here, because I wanted… I wanted to ask you if you’d go on a date with me….” He held his breath, looking at Castiel, who in turn, looked very surprised._

_”That sounds lovely Dean….” Castiel smiled, and patted the seat next to him, inviting Dean to sit with him._

There it was, out in the open. As the seconds ticked past, Castiel began to regret opening his mouth. Why did he have to be so stupid? What possibly made him think that Dean would ever be remotely interested in…..

“I would love to.” He looked over, offering Castiel a big cheesy grin. “Let’s shoot for Friday, yeah?”

Castiel nodded, “I’m sure you’ll see me before then..” They chuckled, knowing that they had a routine: tomorrow Dean would come to Castiel’s house when he came back from the construction site of their new restaurant, take a nap on his couch, and then they’d make dinner together. They enjoyed their routine, especially since their jobs didn’t really leave room for socializing too much beyond that. 

They were both busy, and they because they grew up together, it was easy to find companionship in each other. By the end of the day, they were usually too tired to go to the bar (it still amazed Dean that Gabriel somehow managed to go out regularly). So they found comfort in the fact that they weren’t complete shut ins.

* * *

It was the Friday of their date, and Dean was just finishing up at the site. The project manager was showing him blue prints, though Dean found this tedious. Their restaurants were practically all identical to each other, and he found this part of the building process a little unnecessary, which was probably why Gabriel was nowhere to be found right now. It wasn’t exactly a long drive back to their neighborhood, but just enough that he figured…. he figured he’d give Sam a call. He hadn’t talked to him in what felt like a decade, and now that his brother was some big shot in California, they hardly spoke at all.

“Whats wrong?” Wow.. Sam didn’t even give him a hello.

“C’mon Sammy, can’t a big brother call without something being wrong?”

“Not usually, no….”

Dean sighed, “Look, I just wanted to call and catch up, but your gonna be a bitch, I’ll hang up the phone now…”

Sam snorted, “Listen, jerk.. It’s been like… months since I talked to you, so pardon me for being a little suspicious.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “If I’m being honest, I have a date tonight, and I’m on my way to pick him up, and I’m a little nervous… I thought talking to you would…. I dunno, help me relax a little, take my mind off the drive.”

“A date? Anyone I know…?”

“Yeah, Sammy.. Actually, you do. I have a date with Cas.”

Sam didn’t say anything back right away, and for a minute, Dean thought he hung up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, things didn’t go so smoothly the last time.”

“I know.. I just.. I don’t know.. We’re not the same people we were then. And besides, he asked me..”

Dean felt like that detail was super important. He was clinging to it actually. Gabriel and Sam both knew that Dean still had feelings for Castiel, strong feelings. However, he was willing to just let them go if Castiel didn’t reciprocate them. But here he was, going to pick Castiel up, for a date, that he initiated, not Dean. Important fact. 

“Just be careful Dean… There’s a lot of passion there, un, I’m sure. I remember. But, there’s also a lot of heartbreak, and I’m sure it’s going to take a long time for that same type of trust to be established.” 

Dean sighed, he knew that Sam was right, but it was still difficult to hear something to truthful. “I will Sammy…” He hated these ‘Dr. Phil’ moments that Sam was so good at. Dean didn’t like talking about his feelings, no matter how hard Sam pushed.

When he finally pulled up in front of Castiel’s house, he suddenly felt like he was going to throw up. Why was he so nervous? This was Castiel… they used to have sex for god’s sake, and now the thought of even holding his hand was making him feel like a giddy teenager. 

He got out, and gently closed the door. The pathway to Castiel’s house seemed like it stretched on forever. But he walked along, hands in his pockets, a dumb smile on his face. He knocked politely, even though he had just barged into Castiel’s house every other day for going on a month.

Castiel came to the door, looking very nice in his perfectly fitted jeans and a button down shirt. “Dean..” He said softly, “You look very nice…” Dean took the compliment in stride, even though he was significantly over dressed compared to him. Dean had been at the construction site all day, so he was in a business suit, black, white dress shirt, and an emerald tie that made his green eyes seem that much brighter.

“Thank you…” He replied, fidgeting slightly. When Castiel motioned for him to come in, he did, kicking off his dress shoes on the porch. He saw the raised eyebrow that Castiel offered, and smiled, “The job site was especially dusty and dirty now that things have really gotten underway, I don’t want to track it in.”

Castiel nodded, and thanked him. He had some kind of ridiculously light brown carpet that was impossible to keep clean, so he appreciated the gesture. “Let me finish getting ready, I’ll be right back..” 

He stood in the entry way while Castiel went off to do god knows what. When his phone buzzed, he assumed it was Sam, trying to give him more of the same old feelings garbage. But it was Gabriel.

**GABRIEL:** Good luck on your date, Dean-o. Don’t screw it up

He rolled his eyes, what a vote of confidence. But he was going to be fine. They didn’t have to the awkward dance of a first date, even though it felt like one. It seemed like an eternity before Castiel came back, but he eventually did come back. “Sorry.. I couldn’t find my wallet..” Castiel blushed, and smiled, “Are you ready?”

Dean nodded, and they moved out onto the porch together. He slipped his shoes back on quickly, and followed Castiel down the way. The Impala was already unlocked, and waiting, and they slid in. It was familiar, this was an old tango, jumping in the car and heading out on the town. 

When he pulled away from he curb, Castiel looked over, “Where are we going?” Dean was strumming on the steering wheel along with the radio, “I’m thinking like.. I dunno.. What are you hungry for?”

_They were sitting side by side at a booth in some run down looking chain, Sam and Gabriel sitting across from them. Their collective buzz was practically humming into existence as they ate from a mound of french fries, each munching on their own respective burgers._

_”We need to do shit like this more often.” Gabriel said, a mouthful of once frozen burger_

_The others made noises of agreement, all happily partaking of the greasy bounty before them. They were in their element. It was a Friday night, and they were drunk, eating fast food, in a group of people who genuinely loved each other. They grew up together, they were practically family. Who could ever ask for more than this?_

_”What do you mean more often?” Sam replied, “We do this once a week._

_”Maybe more than once.” That was Castiel, he was a lightweight, so he was always much more drunk than the rest of them. “Maybe, every night. Why stop at one?”_

_They all laughed. They knew they couldn’t do it. Castiel and Sam were getting ready to graduate high school, and Gabriel and Dean were becoming adults, graduating college and formulating the beginnings of their restaurant. But for now, they were living their best life, completely content to remain oblivious to the world around them, at least for now_

“What about.. like… seafood?” Castiel knew Dean hated fish and the like, but… maybe his suggesting it was a little dubious in nature. But when Dean agreed without question, Castiel felt something in him settle. He had realized he was feeling… some kind of way, until that feeling had eased away.

* * *

The restaurant wasn’t fancy, but it wasn’t Long John Silver’s, and it warmed Castiel’s heart when they walked in and he could smell fresh bread and warm butter. It was strange that he was comforted by such a strange combination of smells, but it smelled like home, and comfort foods. It was nice.

“Dean, this place is wonderful!” His voice was excited but hushed, holding Dean by his elbow. There was a big smile on Dean’s face, and while he wasn’t sure where they stood, it didn’t stop him from placing a small kiss on Castiel’s forehead. 

When Dean said he hated seafood, he really did. Unless it was fried or battered, he just couldn’t do it, it made his stomach turn. And there was something absolutely depressing about someone picking out an unknowing lobster from the tank just to eat it. Just because they were in a seafood restaurant, didn’t mean he needed to buy in to the whole fishy business.

Once they were seated in booth, Dean slipped out of his suit jacket, he felt entirely too warm. Maybe nervous? Maybe… angst? Anticipation? He didn’t know. But the silence between them was growing, and as it grew, so did this strange feeling in the pit of Dean’s stomach. 

“How many classes did you have today?” It wasn’t that Dean was rude, but Castiel taught several classes, and that being said, got them mixed up sometimes. Dean had no idea how Castiel kept his head on straight, teaching so many different classes and all that different content.

“I had three… well two. I’m supposed to have three, but I merely uploaded some notes online.. There wasn’t enough material to justify having the class meet… After all, it’s the Friday before spring break, I can’t ask them to focus when I can barely focus myself.”

That made sense. But spring break? Is it that time of year already? He didn’t even notice the weather change. Not that he’d actually been outside for long enough to give an educated opinion of the weather. Most days, he was sitting at his desk in his house. Hopefully now that they were getting ready to begin a ‘rent-to-own’ type process on an actual office building, he would be able to get out of the house more.

The waitress broke up their conversation, but it was perfect timing, because Dean could feel himself getting hungrier. He always scolded Castiel for skipping lunch, but he’d done that today… what a hypocrite right?

Castiel ordered some type of shrimp and pasta, and Dean ordered a Caesar salad. When Castiel heard Dean’s order, he almost snorted, but held it in. Though it wasn’t like Dean to eat…. ‘food that his food eats’. 

Once she disappears, they back to talking. Dean wants to know what book they’re reading in that British novel class. They’re reading George Orwell’s 1984. He groans, but Castiel looks absolutely ecstatic about it. He always found that book to rather… much, but Castiel was enjoying talking all about it, so Dean listened. 

It wasn’t like he was a complete dunce, he’d read the book once or twice, so he was able to make comments where appropriate and ask questions just where they needed to be. They were really doing well at this date. It was nice. 

When Castiel finished his story about the…. well the story, he starts to ask his own questions to Dean. “So… Why did you want to stop traveling?” Wow. Castiel sure knew how to ask a loaded question. He sighed softly, fidgeting with his napkin. 

“Ah.. well… I’m just.. I’m tired Cas.. I’ve seen enough of this country, and I just want stability….” He said softly, “I just want to be able to come home to the same place night after night…” He felt like it was kind of a depressing subject for dinner, which is why he was so thankful the waitress brought their food. 

He immediately became invested in his salad. All talk of Dean’s decision to stop traveling was stopped. While what he’d told Castiel was true, he still felt like he didn’t want to share all the reasons. Castiel was too invested in his spaghetti anyway, to realize that Dean was being less than entirely truthful. 

The rest of this part of the evening was spent enjoying their food, and trading jokes. Castiel even managed to talk Dean into trying a shrimp which he very much disliked, though Castiel was just thrilled he ate it at all. This felt good, spending time like this. It just showed they were able to get along still, talk about encouraging.

They bickered over things in the news, good books and bad books, and pretty much everything else they could thing of to talk about. 

“Man, I’d love to see you in action..” Dean said chuckling, “You probably make those kids heads spin..” Castiel was smart, and Dean could only imagine how his lectures went. Once he got talking on a particular subject, it was hard for him to stop; Dean has learned to use that power for evil, instead of good. 

After the meal, their walk back to the car was slow, still deep in conversation. The only break in the chattering was when they slid into their respective sides of the impala.

This was actually going to work. So why did Dean still feel this lurching unease in his stomach? They’d had a great night, so why did things still feel so… awkward? _Snap out of it, Winchester…_ He could hear Castiel talking to him, but he was only catching a couple words here and there, his mind was still processing everything his heart was feeling.


	7. Figure This Out

They parted with a chaste kiss on the cheek, and Castiel walked up his walk alone. Once he was safe in the house, he let out a soft sigh, leaning against the door. Dean had leaned in for an actual kiss, but Castiel chickened out. He WANTED the kiss, but… their evening had gone suspiciously well, and he didn’t want to spoil by a kiss making things awkward.

But maybe more awkward? Maybe they just weren’t used to the dating thing again? It’d been some time since they were together, and they’d fallen back into being friends so quickly. Had Castiel ruined the dynamic by asking Dean out? But Dean wouldn’t have said yes if he didn’t want the same things right? RIGHT?

All these thoughts were running through Castiel’s mind as he poured a glass of wine. He was clearly overanalyzing this. But it was hard not to, he and Dean had just been through so much. So much that it was hard to ignore. 

He leaned against the counter, sipping on the red liquid in his glass. This was clearly not the Dean that he grew up with. That much was obvious. His Dean wore faded raggedy jeans, and well loved Led Zeppelin shirts. God… He was such a dork. His hair was this delicious hot fudge color, and his eyes… man, they shown like emeralds full of life, his freckles like constellations decorating his face and shoulders. 

But now? Dean was dress pants and dress shirts… his eyes weren’t nearly as bright, and his freckles seemed to fade right off his face. And that glorious brown hair? dull… starting to salt and pepper, and he was barely thirty. Dean had gone from fun loving, to stressed out business man practically over night. 

Thinking this all between sips of his pinot noir, he began wondering if treating Dean like his same ole friend was the wrong idea. It was obvious that Dean wasn’t the same person, so why was he trying to treat him like it? What he needed to do was take the time to learn all about the man that Dean was now.

* * *

Dean thought their date went well. He brewed a cup of coffee, and sighed. He really had a great time, and he loved getting to spend any significant amount of time with Castiel. Once his coffee was brewed, he grabbed the mug and moved on to the bedroom. They weren’t out late, but late enough, and Dean really just wanted to settle, and reflect on everything. 

He changed into flannel sleep pants and got in bed, leaning up against the head board, taking small sips of his coffee. He really hoped that Castiel enjoyed this as much as he did.. But he just wasn’t the confident kid he was when they broke up. He was devastated, leaving Castiel like that, and he was a little hesitant going into this.

**GABRIEL** : soooooo howd it goooooo

**DEAN** : can we do this tomorrow?

**GABRIEL** : NO lets do it now

Dean didn’t reply. It wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten used to telling Gabriel everything while pair of them were on the road, but he felt like he wanted to keep this to himself for now. He didn’t to give any one hope, especially himself. Everything might he going good now, but it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped. He just needed to make the most of their time together before things got messy.

**CASTIEL** : Goodnight Dean

**DEAN** : Night Cas

* * *

A couple days passed their date. The weekend. The weekends were tricky because they were usually both very busy catching up on unfinished things from the week. But on Sunday, Castiel knocked politely on the door.

Dean answered in sweatpants, and no shirt, his scruff needing a good shave before work the following day. He was obviously not expecting company, but he immediately smiled when he saw it was Castiel, “Come on in…” He stood aside, allowing Castiel to slip inside. 

“Im sorry for barging in, I’m just not getting any work done and I’m getting extremely frustrated. I needed a breather, and I wanted to see if you’d like to accompany me on a walk?”

Castiel did look stressed out, though Dean can only imagine what kind of nonsense he was working on for the university. He gave a shrug of indifference, “Yeah, lemme change, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Dean went upstairs and put jeans and a t-shirt on, flashing a corny smile in the mirror. When he went back down, Castiel was still standing right where he’d left him. “You alright there?”

The other jumped a little, shaking his head, “Yeah I’m fine.. Just thinking about a lot things, I guess… I’m just ready for this semester to be over I suppose…”

Dean grabbed his keys, nodding along, “I can understand that. It’s probably more work on this side than we ever had as students, right?” He opened the door and let Castiel walk through before following him down the steps. 

“Some days I’d like to think that it’s really not work, because I like talking about and getting students interested in the material, and I like teaching, but then I assign like… a 10 page paper, and who did I think would have to read all of them..”

Dean gave a sympathetic chuckle, “So you’re like… your own worst enemy?” Castiel glared, but sighed, “yeah.. I suppose I am…” Dean reached out and took his hand, “The semester’s almost over though, so you just need to hang on a little longer, right?”

“Yeah, I don’t usually give a final if everyone is going to pass anyway, there’s no reason one test should affect their entire grade when there’s nothing they’re going to be able to do about it…”

They walked in silence now, hand in hand, looking at the neighborhood they grew up in. It was still quiet, and peaceful, but there were just as many kids playing outside now as there when then.

“This place hasn’t changed at all..” Dean said, looking at all their neighbors houses. “I love it here, I’m glad I decided to keep the house…. Sam wanted to sell..”

Up until recently, Dean never stayed in one place very long, usually following wherever their business took him. But once Sam moved out to California, the house sat empty long enough that Sam wanted to let it go. That was part of the reason Dean moved back.

“You have though..” Castiel said softly. He honestly didn’t think he’d said it loud enough for Dean to hear him, but he was jerked to a halt when Dean stopped walking, still holding on to his hand.

“Is.. Is that a bad thing?” He looked like a bunny in the head lights, trying to gauge Castiel’s words.

“No no! Of course not.. I’m enjoying getting to know you all over again.”

Dean still looked moderately concerned, so Castiel leaned forward and placed a warm kiss on Dean’s lips. It caught Dean off guard, but he immediately leaned into the somehow soft feeling of Castiel’s chapped lips. The distance between them closed, holding each other in a warm embrace.

It seemed like forever before they parted, but they both had a silly grin on their faces. It was almost a fairy tale, until Dean’s phone rang. He rolled his eyes and dove a hand into his pocket. “Gabe, its not a work day…” He rolled his eyes again when the other started babbling.

“Gabe…. g-.. Hey.. will you-…. Yes, I have your brother….” Dean handed over the phone, “It’s for you?”

“Gabriel, why didn’t you just call me….. What do you mean stop locking my house?… No you don’t live there, _I_ live there…. I suppose…”

He hung up, and if it were his own phone, he probably would’ve launched it into space, but it was Dean’s and he promptly handed it back over.

“Brothers can be…”

“Trouble?” Dean offered.

“Yeah… something like that…”

* * *

The walk back to the house was uneventful, though they were both busy analyzing the kiss and what it meant. What did it mean? Were they officially dating? But they’d only went on one date… who knew? 

Of course it would’ve been much easier to just talk to each other, but feelings were for squares, and apparently so was conversation. So they walked in silence, making awkward eye contact and fidgety. If they only had a conversation, then everything would be settled.

When they got back to the house, Gabriel was sitting on Castiel’s porch, looking kind of impatient, “You need to make me a new key…” He called. But Castiel was too busy staring at Dean.

“I should probably get going…” He said, nodding over to Gabriel, “I see enough of him… I’ll catch you tomorrow okay?”

Castiel nodded, “If you’re not too busy, I’ll be on campus really late for something.. you can come out and hang out with me?”

Dean nodded, “I’ll try my best, okay? Warn your secretary ahead of time, and I’ll bring dinner. I’ll text you if plans change.”

They hugged and Dean kissed Castiel’s cheek. “I really missed you Cas.” It came out as a barely audible whisper, and then he was gone, leaving Castiel to wonder even more what was going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay. so i know i know i know. this chapter was a little slow moving, but please bear with me. There's an end game in mind, and I want it build to get there, or it wont make sense when everything finally starts happening. 
> 
> Thanks! <3


	8. Running Ragged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... ITS GETTING JUICY FOLKS

The one thing Dean never understood was how they determined what professors undertook which ridiculous events or organizations. There were posters and signs all over the place advertising this professor meeting with that club, or that professor holding this lecture, and Dean wondered if maybe that’s why Castiel was so late on campus tonight. When Dean arrived on campus, Castiel’s secretary informed him that Castiel had stepped out, but, apparently, he should be back momentarily. He had grabbed take out Thai food, dinner as promised, and the amazing smell seemed to follow him like a ghost through the hallway.

Castiel’s office was just the same now as it was the last time he was here, and he smiled back at the picture of them smiling up at him. Maybe they could take a new one? A more recent one. Maybe Dean was getting… emotions in his old age, but he felt a calm in his heart about the domesticity between them. It wasn’t merely camaraderie, but an intimacy in caring for someone.

_Dean knocked on the door to the Novak house, eager to pick Castiel up for a date. They hadn’t been seeing each other as much, now that Dean was in college, classes keeping him busier than usual. So he reveled in any chance he got to see those wide blue eyes staring at him._

_But it wasn’t Castiel that answered the door. It was Gabriel, his honey colored hair looking less than its usually well kept self, and his eyes had bags under them. “Dean-o, I wasn’t expecting you to show up…” He said, stifling a yawn. “Didn’t Cassie give you a ring?”_

_Dean shook his head, “No, is everything okay?” Gabriel moved to the side, letting Dean in and sighed, “Yeah, he’s feeling under the weather… I told him to cancel, but he obviously did not…”_

_It wasn’t that Dean didn’t worship the ground that Castiel walked on, but he wouldn’t have even bothered stopping over if he’d known Castiel was sick. He didn’t exactly have good bedside manner, and if you weren’t helping, you were hurting._

_Castiel appeared at the top of the steps, dressed like he was leaving the house. He was so pale he could’ve easily blended in with the walls, and his lips were pink, eyes blood shot. He had obviously just thrown up, but he was trying to be all smiles. “Are you ready?” He asked, throat scratchy._

_”to put you back to bed?? Yeah…” It was Dean that spoke, though Gabriel had opened his mouth. “You look exhausted..” He said softly between him and Gabriel, “Take a nap, I’ll play nurse…” It was very unusual behavior for Dean to dive on in to caregiving, but he felt sympathetic toward Gabriel just as much as Castiel._

_Dean moved up the stairs and, despite Castiel’s protests, deposited him in bed. “Listen, you aren’t going anywhere… date or not. I’ll just stay here with you and smother you with love…” He chuckled, kicking off his shoes and curling up next to Castiel. It wasn’t long before they were both asleep._

In true Castiel fashion, he’d snuck up on Dean, caught in a memory. When he cleared his throat, Dean jumped a little, and turned, giving him a warm smile. He was trying so hard to be cautious, but when Dean looked at him like that, it was hard not to run at him with reckless abandon. 

“You caught me daydreaming…” Dean admitted, focusing once again on the picture of them from the fair. 

“About what??” Castiel stepped to his side, glancing over at him. 

“Remember that time you had the stomach flu? And I took care of you…”

“… and I barfed all over you in my sleep…”

“…And then I ended up with it, and Sammy ended up taking care of me…”

“… He hated me for like a month.”

“I’m not a very good patient..” Dean finished. It was strange, the way they traded off sentences of the same memory, and they ended up chuckling, both staring at the picture of them. “We should take another one… God we’re so old now…”

“ _You’re_ old…” Castiel retorted, moving to sit at his desk. 

“yeah yeah… four whole years.” He handed over the bag that contained Castiel’s dinner. 

“That being said, I’m not the one about to turn 30….” 

Yeah, Castiel had a point. He was going to be thirty. He hadn’t thought about how significant that number was until just now. God, he suddenly felt like an old geezer, ready to drop dead at any minute. Castiel’s voice once again broke his train of thought.

“I really appreciate you bringing me dinner…”

“No problemo, why are you here so late anyway?”

“I’m giving a presentation on C.S Lewis, and whether his writings had significant undertones, or if he was just… well.. blowing smoke. Some people believe he was a born again christian, and others believe he was simply a fake seeing attention.”

That actually sounded incredibly interesting. “Could I sit in?” Dean asked, in-between fork fulls of ginger chicken. Castiel nodded, trying to swallow the bite he took whole, conceding to chew, and then smiled, “I would love that.” He said, trying to contain how eager he felt. All he wanted was support, and validation, not necessarily from Dean, for all the work he’s done.

* * *

The lecture was the most interesting thing Dean had ever sat through. When Castiel was finished, he had questions upon questions to ask him, and Castiel was more than pleased to answer them all. 

From that point on, whenever there was an interesting lecture, Dean made it a point to attend with Castiel. Even though Dean was getting busier and busier as the building and office space took shape. He was trying very hard to balance everything, but every once in a while, Castiel would catch him dozing off. 

They were sitting side by side on the couch, the room drenched in darkness. The movie illuminating them in a blue haze, and Dean was so exhausted, he was having trouble staying awake. 

“Dean..” He whispered, nudging him, “you’re sleeping again.”

Dean stirred, and opened an eye, “Im sorry…” He said back, wiggling a little, trying to wake himself up. He just wanted to relax, why did Castiel keep waking him up. “I’ll be back…” he finally said, standing from the couch. 

He went to the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He was exhausted, his eyes dull, the bags heavy. He was doing too much, wearing himself thin. But Castiel was happy right? Even though he wasn’t so much happy as he was just existing right now. He slapped a little bit of water on his face. 

There was a knock on the door, and it opened a little, “Dean, are you okay…?” Castiel looking concerned, “you’ve been gone a long time..” 

“Yeah, I’m okay…” He put on his best smile, but Castiel just furrowed his brow, “No you’re not… whats the matter?”

Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m exhausted..” He said softly, eyes barely open. 

Castiel took his hand and pulled him close, “Why didn’t you say something then?” His wasn’t accusatory at all, though it did seem stupid to make himself miserable.

“I didn’t want to ruin our evening…” He replied, leaning into him. They were finally getting somewhere, and he didn’t want to be the one to ruin everything this time. 

Castiel rolled his eyes, letting the other nuzzle him. “Thats stupid…” his comment wasn’t mean, but Dean still flinched. “Come on, you…” He pulled Dean from the bathroom, down to the end of the hall where the master bedroom was. This was the first night that Dean was going to spend since they started trying to rekindle their love.

* * *

When Dean awoke the next morning, it was wrapped around Castiel, who was already awake, reading a book. He yawned, and wormed closer, trying to steal all of Castiel’s warmth. “Are you awake for real this time?” He asked, ruffling Dean’s hair, humor in his voice. 

“No…” he replied, closing his eyes, but he could hear his phone ringing, though it was clearly muffled somewhere. He sighed, and scrunched his eyes tight, trying to will himself back to dreamland, but it was no use. “How long has it been ringing?” 

“At least an hour…” Castiel replied, “You had one phone call from some woman. And I tried to tell Gabriel you were sleeping, but he, apparently, won’t take no for an answer.”

_That’s probably because it’s something important_ Dean wanted to say, but he merely stretched, making a noise of both discomfort and pleasure. He outstretched his hand, and Castiel placed the still ringing phone in his hand. He didn’t move though, staying snuggled against him, preferring to continue the siphoning of radiant heat that Castiel seemed perfectly content with giving away.

It wasn’t Gabriel, because the number that was calling wasn’t saved. “Hello, you’ve reached Dean Winchester.” He said, putting on his big boy voice, even though he was sure it was obvious he was still half asleep.

“DEAN. How you been?!” The voice was overwhelmingly chipper, and even in his tired stupor, he knew exactly who it was.

“Charlie Bradbury, don’t you know how to use a voicemail?” He said, stifling a yawn.

“I know I know.. you’re boyfriend asked me super politely to stop calling, but I figured I’d get you eventually, because I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE GREAT NEWS!” She chirped. He could also hear a soft whirring, so she must be spinning in her desk chair.

“Which is what?” His lids were heavy, if she didn’t get it out soon, he’d fall asleep and she’d start calling all over again. 

“Benny, and Garth, and me were invited to come to the dinner party you guys always throw, like you know. BUT THATS NOT THE NEWS. Gabriel called the three of us to tell us about the new HQ you’re heading and gave us the option of relocating, or just continue working from wherever we are. WE’RE MOVING!!!!”

Why didn’t Gabriel tell him that? The three of them were all over the country of course, and it would be nice to have payroll, security and public relations all in the same building, but asking all three of them to relocate? Wasn’t that a bit… rude?

Charlie Bradbury was the best for business security. She prided herself in protecting the companies virtual information, and did it flawlessly. She hailed from Chicago, and they met her while opening a store there. Benny Lafitte was a real character. He was from the deep south of Louisiana, and was a whiz at PR. His greatest tactic was making things appear different how they were. He could probably convince you that a vampire was merely just a misunderstood kitten, and you’d believe him 100%. He was really a PR conman, but he was good at his job. and Garth, a real brainiac. He put Sam’s nerd powers to shame, and was probably the smartest person in Wisconsin. Before he came along, payroll was just a horror show.

While the four of them were scattered across the country, they had become best friends. With Dean heading up business/marketing, the four of them regularly spoke. And when Dean was in the area, he made it a point to make at least one social call, no business allowed.

“All three of you? That’s great Char.. you know I miss you guys. The four of us will definitely have to catch up..”

“Yeah, I know! Garth wanted to keep it a surprise, but Benny didn’t think that was fair..”

_He’s right…_ But Dean would never admit that aloud. Benny moving here would definitely complicate things.  
When he hung up, Castiel was looking at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Apparently, Gabriel asked our administrative staff to relocate here to our permanent headquarters.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Castiel asked slowly.

“I mean… I’ve worked closely with the three of them, we work together well.. and it’ll be swell to have them all in the same place, I just don’t think it was fair to ask them to move..”

“I’m sure Gabriel had his reasons.” and then he turned back to his book. 

Knowing what Gabriel knew, it couldn’t have been for any good reason. He rolled away, scrolling through his contacts.

**Dean:** Why did I have to find out form Charlie that you were moving here?


	9. A Moth Into The Flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.

**Benny:** Sorry, brother, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal

A BIG DEAL. Dean took a deep breath before deciding that chucking his phone across the room was indeed counter productive. They’d just finished lunch when Benny texted him back, and Dean was sitting at Castiel’s table staring into the phone, trying to look through it even.

**Dean:** It’s not really, but a heads up would’ve been appreciated.

After all, its not every day a ghost from your past waltzes back into your life, not that Benny every really waltzed out. Dean had spent half a year in Shreveport, working with the new store, and talking with Benny about their expectations of him as their PR guy. But you don’t just spend that much time with someone in close quarters without developing feelings.

Feelings weren’t the right word of course. It was hard to resist those green blue eyes, and that sweet cajun accent that made everything sound delicious. They’d spent several nights together, though their personal relationship continued to teeter between just the physical, and the romantic. Benny wanted something romantic, more permanent than just a bump in the night, but Dean knew he couldn’t stay in Louisiana forever.

The ringing phone shook him out of his stupor. It was Gabriel this time. He was now seriously contemplating throwing the phone into the sun. 

“Gabe, what the fuck?”

“Awe, sweetheart, not even a hello?”

“Why the FUCK would you ask Benny to move here?”

“I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to have all of administration in the same place?”

“Of course, but Benny?” He said in a hushed voice, not knowing where Castiel was lurking. “Of all people…”

“I couldn’t just just ask Garth and Charlie, and not him, it would be glaringly obvious, you know.”  
Of course he knew, that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it though. 

“I guess you’ll just have to keep it in your pants.”

Dean hung up, he couldn’t stand to have that conversation. It was too much. He never really developed romantic feelings for Benny, but he knew the possibility had been there. If he would’ve stayed. The fear of commitment post-breakup was stronger than any feeling he had developed for anyone else. 

“Who’s Benny?” Castiel’s voice from behind made him flinch, and he turned in his seat to face him.

“Our PR guy.” But he didn’t offer any more information than that.

“Oh.. do you not like him? I thought you guys were all friends?”

He could see Castiel was trying to piece together why Dean would have such a problem with this.

“Yeah we are… Benny is just a lot to handle…”

Dean stood and stretched, wincing at the crack in his joints. He was eager to change the subject, no longer wishing to talk to his former lover with his current… whatever Castiel was.

“Our offices are all set up, I just have to decorate my office… You should come down with me today and check it out..”

Without missing a step, Castiel replied, “I have a lot to do… maybe some other time..”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “oh....” letting the gears in his mind turn.

He’d been running himself ragged, trying to get all his stuff done, and also support Castiel in every way he possibly could. And all he wanted was a little support back.

“If you have papers to grade, you could always hang out at my desk..” 

Castiel shook his head, “I can’t, I’m sorry…”

Dean sighed and shrugged, “Fine….”

* * *

He went to back to his house and jumped in the shower, trying to get cleaned to look at least decent enough to go to the office. He couldn’t place a finger on what Castiel’s problem was, but it was kind of irksome.

But Benny was coming now… and that changed things. Benny was distant enough that they were both able to have space, but he was close enough when Dean needed him that he was supportive in all the right ways.

_”Hey brother,” He said, wrapping on the door. Dean looked up from the paperwork he was looming over, “Whats up, Benny?” “I have that report you asked for… all done, just sign.” Dean loved that kind of work. Fast as can be, straight to the point. Benny walked in to the space further, letting his presence fill the void._  
_”We still on for dinner?” Dean asked, sitting back, looking up at the man before him. The only time Benny was ever taller than him was when Dean was sitting. It was hard not to stare at him, Benny was.. scruff, but inviting. He had perfectly cut hair and a perfectly manicured beard, his eyes were vast pools of perfect blue green. A corny smile that said ‘i know better than you’._

_”You bet your sweet heart…” Benny chuckled, leering over him. Dean could smell his cologne, it was enticing, rustic and earthy. He grabbed his tie, and pulled Benny down further to him. “I do bet…” Dean’s voice was barely audible, and then their lips were crashed together. It was a struggle for domination in the kiss, but they were lip locked. Benny had a hand clamped on his shoulder, holding Dean in place. There was a warm heat between them that went straight to Dean’s soul._

When Dean snapped out of his daydream, the water in the shower was freezing. He was shivering, though the heat in the pit of his belly was growing deep. He turned the water off, and shook the excess water from his hair. This was about to be the most confusing experience Dean ever had in his life.

* * *

When Dean got to his new office, Charlie, Garth, and Benny were sitting all around. “SURPRISE!!!!!!” Charlie shouted, hopping from the top of Dean’s desk. Dean pulled her into a close hug, squeezing her hard. “Charlie girl! It’s so great to see you..” She was beaming up at him, her smile taking up her whole face.

“When you called, I didn’t realize you were already in town! I hope you weren’t waiting long to surprise me, I had kind of a strange morning…”

“We weren’t waiting long, pal.” That voice was Benny, leaning against the desk, arms crossed. He had a smile on his face, his trademark smile. 

“Good good.” Dean moved around Charlie to give Benny and Garth a small hug, and then took his place behind his desk. “Let me get my life together and then we’ll have to go do lunch.”

The gang seemed to take that as a dismissal and dispersed… well all except for Benny, who remained standing in front of his desk. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you, brother, I didn’t know what to say to be honest.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile. He had many good memories of him and Benny in his office, and it was all he could do not to fall into their old habits. “I know I know..” Dean conceded, not that it made any of this easier.

Benny moved around the desk, almost an exact mirror of the memory he’d recalled earlier. “Why don’t we do dinner tonight? Catch up a little…” Every fibre in Dean’s being told him to say no, but he was weak. “Yes..”

Things ended up getting hectic, so lunch never happened. But all day, Dean vibrated with a sense of urgency. Should he tell Castiel he was having dinner with Benny? Though, he’d never told him they were former lovers, and Castiel would just say okay… not understanding that Dean was practically electric with the thought of dinner with him, and Castiel probably had some engagement anyway. _I can’t_ _Not tonight_ _Im very busy_

Dean ran his fingers through his hair, and picked his phone up. He was going to call him, making sure to word this very carefully. It rang a couple times, and then Castiel picked up.  
“Dean, I’m in the middle of something, can I call you back?”

Of course he was… “No it’ll be quick. I just wanted to let you know I won’t be around tonight, I have plans.”

“Yes yes, thats fine…”

And then there was a click. No good bye. not even see ya. When did it start getting to this?

* * *

Dean offered to drive them to dinner, since Benny was new to the area, and Dean knew exactly where he was going. Benny slid into his place in the passenger seat of the impala, letting the leather caress him. 

“So how long has it been?”

“Too long. The bayou misses you..” 

Dean chuckled, “I miss the bayou. I’m sure the bayou is gonna miss you too..” 

It was strange that Benny was so quick to leave the place he’d grown up, the town that loved him, the area that loved him. Maybe… Maybe he moved to get closer to Dean. Could that be it? He’d have to find out.

The drive for the most part was quiet, and so was the start of dinner. But once conversation began, they couldn’t stop. They had so much to catch up on, and Dean relished Benny’s stories of the south.

They were drinking, and the more they drank, the more they laughed, trading stories, and memories, talking about different stores, and people they knew. Dean could feel the heat of the alcohol in his cheeks, clouding his head and his judgement. 

When they poured themselves back into the impala, Dean just drove home, an automatic reflex. Benny was always more than welcome to crash with him, so he didn’t even call attention to it. His house was dark, and so was Castiel’s he noted, even though it was significantly late. Benny followed him up the walk, keeping close to him, occasionally brushing up against him.

Once they were behind the safety of his front door, Benny’s hands were on him immediately, hands at his waist. It must’ve been the alcohol, because Dean didn’t push him away right away, in fact, he pulled Benny closer, Dean’s back already up against the door. Benny was searching for skin, and when he finally found a piece of real estate in the small of Dean's back, he let his finger nails dig in a little, enough to let Dean know he was there, claiming that for his own.. When their lips met, warm and rich, tongues fighting for space, all the memories of their relationship came rushing back and Dean moaned into the kiss. He remembered now, how much Benny took care of him. How compassionate of a lover he was, how intense. How friendly, and how much Benny was a friend, a confident, and a lover all at once. 

The feeling of Benny’s lips on his, though, and the alcohol rushing through his veins was too much, too intoxicating, and he wavered, wobbling on his feet. It was Benny that separated, though Dean whined in protest, and pulled him to the couch. Benny laid down, and pulled Dean down on top of him, where they stayed, trading kisses and touches in the dark. Dean couldn’t think far enough ahead right now, but he was sure to hate himself when the alcohol wore off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've reached this note, you probably hate me lol


	10. What's All This Then?

When Dean woke up, his head was pounding. He nuzzled against the chest of who he assumed was Castiel, but when he opened his eyes, it was not. It was Benny. He didn’t make a move to get up, but he didn’t want to stay there either. His breath stopped, looking down at the man under him. 

“What am I gonna do…?” his voice was a whisper, looking down at Benny’s face. Benny had only been in town one day, and now he both wanted to run away from this and stay. He never imagined ever that he’d have the opportunity to fall back in bed with Benny, and while Dean absolutely wanted to flay his skin off, old habits die hard.

Did they even do anything? Dean couldn’t remember, at least, not right away. But then it slowly came back. The alcohol, the dinner, the… “Aw shit…” the kiss. God.. they kissed. But he and Castiel weren’t official, right? RIGHT? He needed to talk to someone. NOT Gabriel. Maybe Charlie? She was pretty feelings-savvy. 

But right now, he didn’t want to move from where he was. He didn’t want to end the fantasy. Then the door bell rang. And Dean jumped, and Benny jumped, knocking Dean to the floor. “I’m coming!!” He called, fixing himself up a little bit. 

Dean left the living room, followed with a ‘sorry brother’, and opened the door. There was Gabriel, who looked frazzled to say the least. “Gabe? Whats the matter?” He stepped aside, and Gabriel hurried into the living room. “Have you seen Cassie?” 

Dean raised an eyebrow, “No, not since yesterday? I talked to him last night though, he said he was really busy… we were only on the phone for like.. a minute, not even.” He’d followed Gabriel into the living room, and saw that Benny had also fixed himself up a little, and was sitting on the couch, looking down at his phone… the epitome of nonchalant. “Why?”, which was an important follow up question.

Gabriel sat down in Dean’s desk chair, swiveling it to face the room. “I can’t get ahold of him, and its so unlike him to be so unavailable.” 

“Thats not necessarily true, Gabe..” Dean replied, moving to the couch in search of his phone, not remembering where he’d put it. “I’ve barely seen the guy in two weeks… All he does work work work, recently…” He was still searching for his phone, thinking maybe Castiel had tried to get ahold of him.

“That’s not like him either.” Gabriel replied, rubbing his temples.

“Maybe he’s seeing someone..” Benny chimed in, shrugging his shoulders when Gabriel and Dean both shot him a look.

But that was… that was actually a good point. “Gabe.. it could be he’s seeing someone.”

The look Gabriel gave him was incredible, mortified verging on fury. Yeah, he and Castiel went on one date, but that didn’t mean they were automatically a couple, did it? Sure, he didn’t take his time working his way back into Benny’s arms, but that was NOT the issue at hand.

“Look, its 9:30, doesn’t he have a class right now?” Dean said, conceding to check the time on Benny’s phone, since his was still nowhere to be found. “He doesn’t usually have his phone on him when he’s teaching.” It was true. Dean knew that Castiel usually left his phone in his office, as not to be distracted. 

“How about this…” Dean started, “I’ll stop past on my way to the office and see if he’s there. I’ll meet you at the new store for 11, and if I can’t find him, we’ll go from there.” 

Gabriel seemed to accept that because he stood from the chair, nodding slowly. “okay..”

Once Gabriel had left, Dean gave a full hearted groan. Things were getting very complicated… All he wanted was peace in his life, and now it seemed he was dragging in turmoil. Dean was still looking for his phone in the living room when Benny took his hand, pulling him back to the couch.

“You’re gonna wear yourself thin…” Benny said softly, placing gentle kisses on his neck. 

“Its what I do, Benny, you know that..” Dean chuckled, but he was only half kidding, and Benny knew that. 

“How ‘bout this.. you go get cleaned up, I’ll make coffee, and we’ll head out together.”

* * *

A shower was exactly what he needed. He always did his best thinking in the shower. The hot water and steam really helped him reach a level of clarity that he wasn’t ever able to reach on his own. 

He knew he needed to be honest with Castiel. Instead of just pretending like everything was hunky dory, he actually needed to… dare he say… express some form of emotion. This would be the perfect chance to at least _see_ Castiel. Maybe they can make plans to meet up, have a conversation. 

He felt really shitty about last nights events, but he had a lot to think about. He never imagined he would have the opportunity to pursue things with Benny again. So it was never even in his mind when he came back for Castiel. He needed to make sure he knew exactly what he wanted before he tried to further things with either of them.

When he finally felt like he’d washed off the grimy feeling of last night, he dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist. He didn’t even stop to glance in a mirror, having started to try avoid looking at his reflection, not being able to stand the packs under his eyes that were packed and ready to go. 

Dean went into the bedroom, moving to his closet, opening the doors and sighing. Back in the day, Dean would’ve just shrugged off the confusing situation he was in, admitting to have been quite the playboy. But now that he was developing an emotion or two, it was difficult to figure things out.

He pulled his boxers up, moving to dig through his clothes. He found the darkest denim jeans he owned, and pulled them up, fastening them with black leather belt. He grabbed two button up dress shirts, a deep purple one, and an earthy brown one, and also grabbed his black sport coat. 

When he went back down stairs, the smell of coffee greeted him at the bottom. “That smells wonderful..” He called out, he went out into the kitchen, and took the mug that was offered to him. “I grabbed you a shirt too, pick whichever one you want..”  
Since Benny had spent the night, he was thankful to be able to change his shirt at least. He grabbed the brown one, and swapped it out for the one he had one. Dean was trying not to stare, but he was having difficulty. He pulled the purple one on, and grabbed the sport coat on after. 

He drank his coffee with lightening speed, getting a little caffeine rush. “ookayyyy.” He said, stretching, “let’s get this rescue mission underway.”

* * *

The drive was quiet, the music separating the space between them. Dean had his arm hanging out the window, spring air fill the car. Benny was silent, letting the road noise fill his head. He was scrolling through what Dean presumed to be email, letting the day begin for him. 

When they pulled into the parking lot, Dean found a spot and pulled in, letting a sigh out as he put the car in park. “Okay… so I’m going to apologize in advance because if we find Cas, who knows what kind of mood he’s going to be in…. especially since Gabriel probably called him about a thousand times.”

The walk to the building was familiar, and while it didn’t take very long, seemed to drag on forever. Benny was trailing behind him like a cajun shadow, already talking to someone on the phone. When they got to the building, he made sure to pop in the secretary’s office to see her, who how having seen him visit a couple times, was becoming very friendly with him.

“Oh Mr. Winchester, I’m glad you popped in, Professor Novak isn’t seeing visitors today I’m afraid.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “But he IS here, right?”

“I think I did see him this morning, but he was explicit about no visitors.” She looked solemn, “He seemed very tired.”

“Oh.. okay.. well. Could you please tell him to call his brother, or myself. Gabriel has been trying to get a hold of him, and he’s getting kinda worried.”

She nodded, and went back to her task, turning all her attention to whatever she was typing. No visitors, huh? Unacceptable. When they walked out of her little office, Dean stopped Benny with a hand, “I’ll be right back..” Benny nodded, and moved to exit the building, still rapidly talking.

No visitors. That sounded like someone was trying to hide something. Or maybe Dean was just paranoid about his own transgressions.

* * *

Castiel did, in fact, have a visitor. A rather handsome visitor. His name was Oren, a professor from the anthropology department. His long hair was pulled back, his scruff only semi maintained. He had the face of a wounded animal, soft, sad. But his mind was sharp, focused, and he was sitting in one of the arm chairs in Castiel’s office.

They were talking very animatedly when there was a knock on the door, causing them to both jump a little. It was Dean, of course, pushing the door open. “Hey, Cas, got a minute?” His last words trailed off, his face puzzled. 

Castiel stood immediately, hands on his desk. “Dean! How nice of you to drop by…” Though the town was more accusatory than welcoming. 

Dean offered a panicked smile, “Yeah, I thought I’d pop in on my way to the office, but I see you already have company.” He made a move toward the door, but Castiel stopped him. “Please, stay for a minute… Oren, this is my brother’s friend, Dean Winchester…, Dean, this is a fellow colleague, Oren Flagstaff.”

They shook hands, both offering the same small smile to each other. The room was becoming suffocating, actually, so Dean just nodded to Castiel, “Hey, I’ll see you later.. And call Gabriel back, he wont leave me alone.”

The walk back to Benny was confusing. _This is my brother’s friend_. He didn’t say _my friend_ , or.. or _boyfriend_ … My brother’s friend. So obviously it was time they had a discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oren was one of the angels who, in season 9, killed themselves in the name of Castiel.


	11. Come To The Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed upload. real life got me.

By the time Dean reached Benny, he’d gotten himself so worked up that when Benny tried to ask him what the deal was, Dean told him to cram it. Their walk back to the car was brisk, Dean busy mumbling to himself. Benny had just as long legs as Dean did, but was finding it difficult to keep up, so he reached out and grabbed him by his jacket, “Easy brother, everything alright?”

Dean wasn’t happy about being suddenly snatched up, and nodded, “Yeah yeah, I’m just peachy…” He went fishing in his pocket and pulled forth his cell phone. It only took a second to find Gabriel’s number and push a button.

“Dean-o, you track down our angel?”

Dean rolled his eyes. Their whole family was named after angels, but Castiel was _their_ angel. “Yeah, yeah, our Lord and Savior is at work. Not taking visitors, though apparently _Oren Flagstaff_ doesn’t count as a visitor…”

He could hear Gabriel snort, “Oren? Oh sweet Jesus…”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Dean-o, find me when you get to the office. It’s story time…” And then he hung up. 

“Well that’s interesting..”

Benny had an eyebrow raised, leaning against the impala; Dean didn’t even realized they’d reached the car. “Our Lord and Savior?” He asked, skepticism written all over his face.

“Oh yeah,” Dean said, unlocking the car, “All the Novaks are named after angels… even their parents, I never met their dad, Gabe always told me he was kind of crazy, But their mom, Rachel was a saint… And then there’s Gabriel, Castiel, and Inias, who I haven’t seen in forever. He’s the oldest, and we only met a couple times. I’m pretty sure he’s adopted, but I never asked for conformation.”

They slid in and Dean fired up the car, backing out of his space. “Anyway, Gabriel seems all kinds of bent outta shape about whoever this Oren guy is.. I mean, he seemed nice enough, then again, I only said two words to the guy. It was clear I was interrupting something…”  
“Maybe he IS seeing someone..”

“I dunno, that guy didn’t really strike me as Castiel’s type..” But who was Dean to judge anyway? Benny wasn’t really HIS type either, but history spoke for itself.

* * *

When they pulled into the parking lot of their offices, Dean wasted no time in leaping from the car. He gave a confused Benny a swift goodbye, and headed off in search of Gabriel. It didn’t take long, though it would’ve been easier if Gabriel actually used his office. He finally found him in Charlie’s office, chatting away about candy.

“Gabe, story time…”

Gabriel looked over and nodded, telling Charlie he’d be back, and his leaving was in no way giving in to whatever argument they were having.

“Right, so.. Oren…”

They headed into Dean’s office, Dean making sure to shut the door behind them.

“Him and Cassie started dating round the same time you and Benny had your fling. He was okay enough, and the little guy couldn’t stop talking about him. buuuuuut… He was offered a position on a dig to search for God knows what in a country no one’s ever heard of. He’s been gone for two years.”

Gabriel flopped down in Dean’s armchair and shrugged, “I don’t think our little friend has heard from him since he’s been gone to be honest… I completely forgot about him.”

Dean was sitting up on his desk, watching his feet dangle. All this information was processing and he needed a minute before he spoke.

“So… what do you think I should do?”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, “What do _I_ think you should do? Honestly, I’d just.. wait. He probably won’t be too thrilled that I told you anything was going on to begin with, he can be.. a little testy.”

That didn’t really help him. He wanted to know what Gabriel thought because if the sudden reappearance of this guy was going to change things between him and Castiel, then he wouldn’t feel so bad about the idea of possibly pursuing things with Benny. 

“Yeah alright…”

* * *

_The first time their hands touched they were sitting next to each other, a few members of a culinary magazine sitting across from them. They were collaborating on an article, and things were going well. Dean liked working with Benny, they were always able to get their ideas on the same page._

_One of the magazine people asked for a rough draft of what they were thinking about, and they both reached for it. When their hands touched, Dean stiffened, but maintained his composure enough to keep talking about their design; Benny withdrew his hand, placing them both on the edge of the table. It wasn’t until the ride back to the motel that he even addressed Dean._

_They were sharing a motel room, having been over the road for this meeting. Once the door was closed, Benny grabbed his hand, holding it firmly in his own. The electricity between them was undeniable, and their lips crashed together in what would become a signature kiss, hot, needy._

_Benny pressed him up against the door, hips to hips, fingers searching for warm skin. It felt like Dean was an enemy to be conquered, and Benny was doing a fantastic job of trying. It didn’t take long for Benny to undo each button, painfully slow, and push Dean’s jacket and shirt to the floor. Fingers trailed the smooth tanned skin, circling through patches of freckles, hungry eyes taking in the geography of his body._

_The ecstasy of his body meeting the mattress, and Benny’s warm skin meeting his was almost too much to bear. The weight of the other man above him was inciting both a panic reaction, and an incessant need to cling to him._

_Everything felt like it was happening in flashes rather than complete memories. Benny’s hips digging into his, arching his back to press his erection against Benny’s. The feeling of being full and warm. It wasn’t until Benny slowly slid his erection into him that he was able to snap into reality, moaning out, the sound caught between their enclosed lips._

_Dean very rarely let himself be taken this way. He much preferred to be the giver. But there was something about the feeling of Benny above him.. in him.. that was warm, safe, and he clung to the other’s shoulders as they orgasmed together, chests heaving, breathing deep. Dean found a moment of silent stillness in Benny’s eyes, pupils blown wide, the sweet brown honey of his eyes reduced to mere rings, his signature smirk softened into more of a smile_

* * *

Dean must’ve nodded off at his desk, because his ringing phone woke him up to a dark room. How late was it? He was slow to get it, but answered it none the less.

“Deanoooo.. come.. come down… come down to the roadhouse….” It was Gabriel, drunker than drunk. “Everyone’s here!!!”

The roadhouse was a local bar, and it was wonderful. Ellen and Jo Harvelle were two of the nicest people he’d ever known, and they’d come to be good family friends and Ellen was even a mother when the occasion rose. And if everyone was there, well he surely wasn’t going to be the party pooper. 

“Alright.. alright… who’s everyone?”

“EV.. ERYONE…”

The line went dead before Dean could ask what that meant. He rolled his eyes and stood from his desk, organizing everything perfectly for tomorrow when he came in. He slipped off his sport coat and left it slung over his desk chair. 

Luckily, they’d chosen a central location for their offices, and the Roadhouse wasn’t more than a 20 minute drive. When he pulled into the parking lot, the only car he recognized was Gabriels. He swallowed, and braced himself for whatever ‘everyone’ meant.

Turns out everyone meant literally everyone. Garth and Benny were sitting on side of a booth, with Charlie and Jo on the other. Gabriel and Castiel…. and Oren had pulled up chairs to the booth, and they were all talking animatedly. 

“DEAN-O”

Gabriel’s voice was easily heard overtop of all the bar noise, and he was quickly stuffed in the booth between Benny, who was sitting on the bench seat, and Gabriel sitting in the chair. They were all relatively drunk, and everyone looked happy to see him, though Castiel vaguely looked like someone who’d seen a ghost.


	12. Make It Up To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys. this is.. ugh.. it'll bring a tear to your eye.

Dean made sure to get a couple drinks in him fast, everyone else was already appropriately intoxicated, and now he was playing catch up. When talks of the next round came up, Dean offered to go to the bar and get them. He excused himself, and while he was walking away, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him.

He stayed at the bar for longer than it would’ve taken to get everyone’s drinks. He was so engrossed on whatever game was on TV, he didn’t hear Oren clear his throat the first time, didn’t even know he was there.

“Dean right?”

He moved to glance over, taking in this bizarre character of a human being. He was slightly tan, a little grey in his beard, hair pulled back in a ponytail that put Sam’s to shame. 

“Yeah..” 

“Right.. right…” Oren was a little shifty, making Dean tense up.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

Oren nodded, “Yeah.. actually.. I know Cas said you guys were really good friends, and I wanted you to know that I’m back for real this time…” He chewed on his lip, “I’m back to stay.. I came back for him actually..” 

Dean tensed up even more, feeling like he was going to turn to stone. “Listen here, Oren Flagstaff, Castiel is a GREAT human being.. and you better.. I mean, you absolutely better be sure you know what you want.. because if you break his heart…. I’ll break yours. He’s been hurt enough, he doesn’t deserve anymore.”

Oren looked like a startled deer, but nodded in concession. “I get it.. thank you…” He clapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder and disappeared. He remained immovable, playing that conversation over and over in his head. He pretty much gave Oren permission to swoop in and fly away with Castiel. 

He grabbed their drinks, and headed back to the table. Everyone cheered, reaching for their respective drinks. He was glad all his friends were here. He might’ve been miserable about Gabriel not telling him that Benny, Garth, and Charlie were moving closer, but he was glad to have him now. This was his make shift family, sharing drinks, jokes, and stories, being as happy as possible.

* * *

When Dean got up to go to the bathroom, Castiel followed him, grabbing him before he entered. They were standing facing each other in the narrow corridor. “What did you say to Oren?” His tone was bitter, demanding. 

“What??? Nothing. He told him he came back from no man’s land for you, and I told him he better not break your heart.”

Castiel didn’t know how to process that. It wasn’t at all what he expected him to say. “You’re not mad? I mean.. I know we were.. I know we were trying… trying again. and..” He couldn’t get his thoughts together and Dean just shook his head. 

“I’d be a hypocrite if I was. I mean honestly, who am I to stay in the way of happiness? And I don’t think Oren would’ve been so bold to approach me if he knew that there was anything going on between us.. I mean… maybe the thing I actually missed most was just being your friend.”

He realized how bad that sounded as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Castiel looked at him like a wounded animal and just nodded, “I understand.” Dean was expecting a shout, or something, but all he got was silence, and then nothing, utterly alone in the hall. “I really need to learn how to use my words…”

Ineffective communicating aside, when Dean returned to the table, he was surprised to see that everyone was still in a good mood, chatting away, especially considering the bizarre exchange between him and Oren, and him and Castiel. He sat back down, leaning into Benny, who instinctively put his arm around Dean, watching all his friends converse. He could feel the tension between the two of them and Castiel and Oren, but he hoped that things would simply work out for the best. Not that they ever did, but it was worth a shot.

* * *

The next morning, he awoke with a massive headache, and Benny, God bless him, was smothering him into the mattress. They were evenly matched as far as size went, and he couldn’t get away from him. He started to squirm, pushing on him with a lot more force than was probably necessary.

“Benny Lafitte, get off me…” He hissed, “You’re crushing my ribs…”

Benny only stirred a moment, before smushing into him more, a sly grin on his face. “Cant…” He replied, his voice low, “Comfy…” Dean rolled his eyes, and utilized a carefully placed elbow to the ribs. When Benny rolled away, he seized the opportunity to get away. “You’re a monster, you know that?” But Benny only laughed in reply.

Dean went into the bathroom, splashing some cold water on his face, and taking more aspirin than was recommended. He stretched, and sighed. His bones protested such an aggressive movement, but it was necessary. He peaked his head out of the bathroom, looking at Benny laying in the sunlight, his bare chest soaking up the sun like a precious resource, hip bones sticking out from above the waist band of his boxers.

“Shower?” 

Benny looked over, watching him intently, and then rose, not breaking his concentration. His eyes were locked on Dean as he closed the gap, and when they were close enough, Benny reached out and grabbed him by the waist. 

“Of course, mon cher…” he purred, placing tender kisses along Dean’s exposed shoulder.   
The warm water created a blissful world of steam and intimacy, goosebumps raising on Dean’s skin at the feel of warmth raining down on him from the shower head, and Benny’s hands gently caressing his hips, bottom, and back, taking in the skin he hadn’t felt for quite some time. 

“I know I shouldn’t have just shown up,” he whispered, his fingers dancing the planes of his shoulders and spine, “But I couldn’t help myself… I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do this again…”

It was difficult for Dean to wrap his head around the idea of someone pursuing him, he always pursued everyone else, but here was someone that wanted him more than anything, moved half way across the country to be with, or at least try. He couldn’t formulate a response to him.

* * *

_”Mon beau, please…” Benny’s voice was distressed, following Dean around the house as he gathered up his things. He knew that Dean wasn’t gonna stay forever, but he had fallen into the fantasy that maybe he was wrong, maybe he had a slim of luck in his life._

_Dean shook his head, “I’m sorry… I told you this wasn’t forever…” He was putting all his things in a duffle bag, clothes, books he acquired, toiletries. “You knew this was coming. I’m a leaving man, Benny, and it’s my time.”_

_This all happened because Benny told Dean he loved him. He did. Benny loved him with his whole heart, but Dean couldn’t deal with it. He grabbed Dean’s wrist, stopping him from this path of destruction through their meager space. “Mon lapin, mon coeur, please….”_

_He refused to cry, refused to look at him. If he didn’t react emotionally, then it wasn’t really as bad as it felt in his heart. “It’s time, Benny.. I’m sorry…” He pulled free as Benny went to kiss him, and stumbled back, “I am sorry…”_

_The truth was, this was the strongest emotion he’d ever felt for another human being since he left Castiel that he was so scared he was going to screw it up.. So he did. He screwed it up by leaving before something worse happened. It wasn’t the most ingenious plan, but, he wasn’t known for those._

* * *

Castiel sighed, arms crossed, leaning against the counter. Oren was sitting at his dining room table, staring into a mug of coffee. “What do you want me to say Cas…” He asked, finally looking over at him.

“I don’t understand why you even left in the first place… you didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I know… It was an opportunity i had to seize, and I was afraid if I tried to talk to you about it, you’d talk me out of it… I needed this.. my career needed this. I never expected to have been gone this long.”

This was a painful conversation. Castiel felt betrayed by Oren leaving, but Oren felt like he had nothing to be sorry for, except for the way things happened.

“I came back.. I came back for you. I realized what I was I missing in my life was you, and I was miserable without you.”  
“Did you ever think that I’d moved on? That you’d come back, and I would be here… with someone else?”

Oren sighed and nodded, “I did.. But I had to try.. I’d fight for you Cas… I’d burn down towns for you if thats what you wanted..”

Castiel gave a weak smile and relaxed his tense shoulders. “That’d be a good start…” He walked over to Oren, who pulled him into an embrace. 

“I’m sorry I left Cas… I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you… I swear…”


	13. Live And Let Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ladies and gents.
> 
> This is the end, or possibly not.
> 
> Ive been torn between a 'prequel' talking about dean met benny, and the formation of their relationship. OR a sequel, talking about the procession of their relationship. I can't decide. since you've been along on this crazy ride, if you have a preference please feel free to comment. both would make good stories.
> 
> THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE POSTED TODAY OR TOMORROW.

This was the night that Dean and Gabriel were waiting for. They were throwing their dinner party to celebrate the capstone project of their business: a permanent headquarters for their administration, and finally opening a store in their home town. Dean had a really good feeling in him, a content feeling. 

He had Benny by his side, getting ready in time with him. It was a snazzy affair, and Dean looked nice in his black tuxedo, bow tie fixed appropriately, dress shoes even. These parties were Gabriel’s idea, he felt like it was nice to show the backers they’d acquired that they were appreciated. Dean didn’t mind so much, but being fancy wasn’t his most favorite thing in the world. 

Benny’s tuxedo was charcoal grey, pants, jacket and tie. His dress shirt was jet black. He looked like a million bucks, and Dean couldn’t help but glance at him occasionally. The gesture was not going unnoticed. Benny offered a smirk and finally caught him looking, “I gotta say, brother, the monkey suit really works for you.”

Dean rolled his eyes, going back to futzing with his cuff links. Gabriel had told him that he invited Castiel and Oren to join them, and for some reason he was irritated and anxious about their attendance. He hadn’t really spoken to Castiel since the night at the bar, he didn’t really have anything to say. Hopefully they would all just be able to keep the peace. Finally having enough of the cuff links, he set them on the dresser and sighed. 

“Need some help?”

Benny picked one up and grabbed Dean’s wrist, slowly pushing the clasp through one hole and out the other side. They didn’t speak, he just allowed Benny to do it.

“I think that should do it..” He turned over Dean’s hand and kissed his wrist. “Stop ya worrying alright?”

Dean maneuvered his hand so their fingers laced together. “I hate stuff like this.. you know that..”

Benny nodded, of course he did. He traveled to enough of these soirees that he was getting sick of the fan fare too, but it did really make a difference to the financial backers, and so they all put on a bright shiny face and did whatever they needed to do. 

“Don’t you worry…” He kept ahold of Dean’s hand, looking at their joined reflection in the mirror, “I’ll be right beside you.”

* * *

The party wasn’t so bad. Everyone seemed like they were having a good time, and Dean was able to bounce from person to person. Most people, he didn’t remember, but they remembered him, and when the conversation started to waver, he excused himself and moved on.

Never did he think, given the A+ parenting he received as a child, that he’d be here, in a tux, schmoozing it up with the wealthy. But he was good at it, he liked to talk, and he was decent at listening, so mostly, it was all good. 

Dean saw Castiel and Oren before they saw him, and on his way over, he grabbed a glass of champagne and drank it down like a man in the desert. 

“Castiel, Oren…” He reached out and shook their hands, keeping the formality alive. “I’m glad you guys could make it.”

Castiel gave him an irksome look, and a clueless Oren could do nothing more than smile. 

“Wow Dean, this is pretty fancy…”

Dean looked over, noting the impressed look on Oren’s face and drowning himself in it. “This is for restaurant openings. The one in Lawrence opens tomorrow for dinner… If you’ll excuse me…”

Oren nodded, looking to Castiel, “It seems your brother has made quite the business for himself… What’s Dean’s role in all of this?” He probably thought Dean was far enough away that he couldn’t hear him, but he did. What he didn’t expect was Castiel to stick up for him, especially since they weren’t exactly chums right now.

“Dean? He’s Gabriel’s partner in all of this. Gabriel handles staffing and training the kitchen, and designing the menus, and Dean handles the business aspect, working with the front of house, managers, and distributors. They’re quite a flawless team…”

He smiled as he continued his journey for Gabriel, or Garth.. or Charlie.. Whoever he ran into first.

The first was Charlie, just enough champagne in her to take the edge off of a social interaction that wasn’t Moondoor, or whatever other LARPing journeys she took. The smile on her face when he came into view melted his heart like butter, and he pulled her into a hug, placing a small kiss on her cheek. “You look amazing…” 

She really did. She had her red locks all pulled up into curls, and a dress that was deep midnight blue, and faded to a light pink at bottom, like a sunset. It was a gorgeous contrast to her pale skin. She looked like a little star in a sea of all the tuxedos.

“I hope you’re having fun.” he said, moving to stand beside her, looking out into the crowd.

“I am.. Garth was keeping me company. and I ran into your lover boy.. He’s looking extra dapper tonight..”

Dean blushed, “Yeah.. He can really rock a suit.” 

After their quiet encounter, they stood side by side, looking at all the people mingling. Gabriel was moving around the room, being the most perfect example of a host. Dean totally allowed him to have free reign, preferring to mildly mingle, which was what he was doing standing here by the wall. He sighed softly, reaching to squeeze her hand, “If anyone wants me, I’m gonna take a breather.” She smiled in reply, and moved into the crowd as he moved away from it.

The air was cool, the humidity taking a breather. He took in a deep breath, and exhaled slow. He moved to lean against the railing to the steps. There were a few stars out, but not enough that he could make out any constellations.

“This is a lovely party…” 

Dean looked over, noting that Castiel was alone. He nodded and looked back up to the stars. “This always was more Gabriel’s thing than mine..”

“I know, but I’m sure he appreciates you playing along… You look wonderful, by the way.”

“Yeah… I’ve been known to clean up okay…”

There was silence between them then. It wasn’t tense, but it wasn’t relaxed either. It took a couple deep breathes before Castiel spoke again.

“Did you really mean all the stuff you said.. about being friends, and my happiness?”

Dean closed his eyes before he answered, “Yeah.. I did Cas… You were my friend first ya know.. and if this skinny nerd makes you happy, then, I’m happy for you…”

Castiel wanted to be angry at Dean’s snide remark about Oren, but taking one good look at the smile on Dean’s face, he knew that it was going to be okay. Maybe not now. But eventually.

“Oren’s nice… He’s very into his work… but he does have this way about him..” Castiel had moved closer to him now, looking up at the stars as well. “Dean… I can’t thank you enough for letting me have this…” He took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’ll always be my best friend… and you’ll always have a special place in my heart..” He gave the top of his hand a kiss and patted his shoulder, “You look happy too…. does he treat you well?”

Dean flushed. He didn’t think Castiel knew, but then again, it was probably glaringly obvious. “Yeah.. He does.. probably more than I deserve.. I really fucked everything with him, and I’m just really lucky that he’s even giving me the time of day at this point…”

“It sounds like we’ve both got a lot of work to do…”

“I’m ready though.. I was.. I was scared before.. about being tied down.. making something so permanent in my life. But.. who knows I guess.. Just when I feel like I got everything figured out, it changes.” he had a little smirk on his face.

When they went back inside, Benny and Oren were standing together chatting. Castiel raised a brow and smiled, looping his arm with Oren’s. Dean did the same, moving to Benny’s side, gravitating as close as possible. Benny put his arm around him, and pulled him in. 

Dean knew that he had a lot to do in the way of repairing his friendship with Castiel, and showing Benny that he was really trying to fix things. But for now, he was in the company of good friends and good food.

* * *

The drive home was interesting. Dean was riding the fine line between tipsy and sober, and Benny was too. But he was paying enough attention to the road, that they got back to his house just fine. It was significantly late, the time being about 1 AM. Dean should’ve known better than to stay out too late. The new store was going to be opening soon, and he and Gabriel needed to get there 2 to get things started for the dinner crowd. 

He stripped his way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind him. Once he was down to the boxers, he slid into between the covers, letting the feel of his cold comforter sooth his warm skin. Benny followed him, climbing the bed, coming nose to nose with Dean. 

Dean leaned up, placing his lips against his. He sighed softly and smiled feeling content, the stress melting away. Benny smiled, and dropping to his side, rolling to his back. “Tonight was a good night..” Benny’s voice was barely audible, but Dean heard him, humming in agreement. 

“Benny.. I realized something recently..” he said, eyes staring into the darkness. 

“What’s that, brother?”

Dean smiled, he loved all the little names Benny called him, even the ones he didn’t understand. “I realized I love you.. and I should’ve never left the way I did..”

Benny didn’t say anything, and Dean didn’t blame him. He was half waiting for Benny to leave, and it’d serve Dean right for it. The silence seemed to extend into oblivion, and Dean didn’t feel like he could hold his breath anymore, that’s when Benny finally spoke.

“I know Dean.. I let you leave because it wasn’t my place to hold you back… I loved you then.. I’ve loved you this whole time..” Hearing Benny speak these words into existence made Dean’s chest tight. “When Gabriel asked if I’d be interested in relocating, I really thought long and hard about it.. if it was even a good idea.. but I had to know if this was.. still something I could have.”

Dean sighed, and moved closer to Benny, feeling his radiant heat move through him. He put his head on Benny’s shoulder, and placed a hand on Benny’s chest, feeling the heart beating underneath. “You can absolutely still have this.”


	14. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it isn't very long, but its nice and sweet. and it leaves the possibility for a sequel if i so decide
> 
> EDIT: 12/28/18 I am planning on writing two more parts to this. this is part 1.

**Two Years Later**

Dean was sitting backward on a chair, leaning with his chest against the back rest, getting dizzy watching Castiel pace back and forth. He could understand all the reasons in the world that he was nervous. When Dean finally felt like his head was going to explode, he reached out and grabbed for Castiel, stopping him in his tracks.

“Honestly, you’re going to give yourself a stroke… You look wonderful..” 

It was true. Castiel had a light tan suit on, with an orange tie, with dark brown oxfords. He looked like he just stepped out of a magazine spread. Dean couldn’t help but grin at him. “Cas.. you have to trust that your making the right decision.” Truer words never spoken, Cas leaned down and placed a small kiss on his forehead. 

“Thank you, Dean..”

“I’m rooting for you, slugger…”  
Dean stood, clasping one hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Everything is going to be great.. I’ll see you on the other side..”

With that, he left, leaving Castiel to himself. It took a minute before Dean finally found Benny in the somewhat crowded pews. He slid in next to him and leaned over, “Sorry.. Cas’ nervous… I talked him off the ledge though..” Benny nodded, and took Dean’s hand in his own.

Dean watched everything.. taking in every detail. It was a truly beautiful day shining down on Castiel and Oren. He didn’t say anything, but he’d always imagined that _he’d_ be the one marrying Castiel, and it was strange now, looking in as a spectator, rather than a participant. But a lot had happened over the past two years, and he wouldn’t change a thing. Sensing this revelation in him, Benny squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek.

It was too good to be true, this life he was living now. Benny had moved in with him. It had been a bumpy start, both of them getting used to living with each other again, but things were really starting to turn up. Dean was wrapping up his MBA, something he’d never thought he’d achieve, but was ecstatic that he was given the opportunity. And now he was watching his best friend get married to someone he loved with his whole heart. This was right where he was meant to be.


End file.
